Friday, October 5, 2007


I just logged in to Blogger and found this post sitting in the "saved" section, which I thought I had published. I figured I might as well publish it, as five-days-past as it may be. I also realized that I suck at technology - see next post.

If one begins to say something enough, does that make it true?
Is it possible to utterly and completely convince yourself of something if you just repeat it over and over?
I didn't think so, either. But it never hurts to ask.

It's been an odd Sunday, to say the least. I've had so much running through my head all day, and I've just been sitting here attempting to make sense of it all. But life goes on, huh? I could ask it to slow down all I wanted, and it wouldn't make a difference. (See: first sentence.) Compliance isn't one of this world's stronger suits.
I just ate a ton of Burger King, which my system craves even though I know it's terrible. My friends, especially the ones who are cooks, don't understand it. I can't say I do, either. But it's time I came to terms with the fact that I'm a junk food junkie. I don't necessarily see it as a bad thing. My palate's refined enough, and honestly, there's something about sinking my teeth into a Double Whopper after spending eight hours knee-deep in truffle oil and caviar that just knocks me out.
But I hate, hate, HATE the Olive Garden. I don't see it as a contradiction at all. Sure, Burger King uses liquid smoke and puts an unholy number of fat grams into my system (but at 6 feet and 145 pounds, I need all the fat I can get). But I don't care. At least Burger King doesn't try to trick me. Doesn't anyone else hate the Olive Garden commercials where they try make you believe their cooks have been trained in Italy? The ones that con you into believing that REAL ITALIAN families have reunions in their dining room(s?)? Do they really expect me to believe that there's an army of Italian grandmothers in the kitchen rolling meatballs? (Note to Rocco DiSpirito - bad idea.)
Don't even get me started with the layouts. All I'll say is if I was unfortunate enough to be caught in an Olive Garden while it burned to the ground - I wouldn't stand a chance.
But what really bothers me about the Olive Garden is the food. I'm not a snob - my allegiance to Burger King should be proof enough of that. And a certain lack of soul is expected from a chain with hundreds of locations. But, as Hung would say, "My monkey could cook better Italian food than that."

1 comment:

Tim said...

I can tell you from experience that there are exactly zero Italian grandmothers working in the Olive Garden kitchen.