Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas!

But since it's been a while since I've seriously blogged, I suppose it's time to get down to business, as the kids say.
Yes, I'm sitting at home on Christmas night. I headed up to Milwaukee yesterday to spend some time with the family, and had to come back to Chicago tonight as I have to be at work at 7 tomorrow morning. Christmas was good - it was pretty low-key, as usual. My brother, my mom, and I worked on this huge crossword puzzle from one of the Toronto papers:


I helped make dinner this afternoon, which was a really nice beef tenderloin with mashed potatoes, mushrooms, and taffy apple salad. I seared off the steaks and ransacked my mom's cabinets and refrigerator for something to go with it - I ended up making a quick mushroom stock out of button mushroom stems, some carrots, celery, and onions, and a pinch of this "Italian seasoning" stuff, sauteing sliced button mushrooms in the pan I seared the steaks, deglazing with the mushroom stock, throwing in a couple of beef bouillion cubes, reducing, and mounting it with a cubic ton of butter, and it turned out pretty well. Otherwise, my brother and I watched basketball (have I mentioned how much I hate the pro game yet?) and we opened presents and all of that. Did I mention I got an iPod nano? My reaction was somewhat like this (I know, it's old, but whatever, it's still funny.):

And hey, as long as we're on the Christmas topic, let's see what good ol' Mike Huckabee has to say about it:

No amount of Mr. Rogers sweaters or subtle crucifixes in the background will make me believe that this commercial is about nothing but getting votes. Seriously, Mikey, the entire country generally isn't as stupid as Arkansas.

What does Charlie Brown have to say about Christmas?

Shut up. Four years later, it's still funny to me.

One last thing for you kids. I was stumbling around the internet last night and came across NORAD Santa. Let's first discuss what NORAD is doing wasting their time and energy on a site that tracks Santa while he delivers presents. I dunno, but shouldn't they be...um..."...continuously provid[ing] worldwide detection, validation and warning of a ballistic missile attack on North America and maintain[ing] continental detection, validation, warning and aerospace control of air-breathing threats to North America, to include peacetime alert levels and appropriate aerospace defense measures to respond to hostile actions against North America"? (Thank you, Wikipedia!) "Continuously...unless Santa's coming!"
So ANYWAYS, I came across this site, and on Christmas Eve, the map was updating every five minutes to alert its viewers of where "Santa" was at the moment. And can you believe the places where the United States government allows Santa to deliver presents?


No, that isn't in the slightest bit photoshopped. Thank you, PRINTSCREEN!
"Ho ho ho! Random-probably-not-terrorist, what do you want for Christmas?"
"Um...can I go back home to my family?"
"Uh...how about a Nintendo Wiiiiiii! Merrrrrry Christmas!"

So, um, I think someone might have screwed up on that one.
If that whole thing isn't enough of a waste, our tax dollars are also going to create videos of Santa's journey!
But there's still no money for body armor.

Oh! I finally saw the Simpsons movie (on the train ride home tonight, on my brand new iPod Nano). It was pretty good. Also, I'm currently reading three books at once: What is the What by Dave Eggers (very good), The Pirate Coast by Richard Zacks (good), and Stiffs by Mary Roach (creepy, but really interesting).

Hope you all had a great one!

Saturday, December 22, 2007


No, but seriously, life is good.
I sincerely apologize for the lack of recent updates, but life's been incredibly busy. Aside from the normal rigors of working, sleeping, going out, and all of that, I've been out of town on my last days off, which hopefully, I can explain to you all after the holidays.
I'll be back in Wisconsin with the family on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day (I know, I was shocked I don't have to work, too), then my brother and his girlfriend will be coming to Chicago a couple of days later.
So have a merry Christmas, everyone

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh, ALABAMA.

The subject line has absolutely no relevance to this post except that it's what I'm listening to. Just thought I'd explain.
From regrettheerror.com: The Year in Media Errors and Corrections. It's a pretty long list, but totally worth it if you've got a few minutes (and all real, by the way). My favorites:

From The Sentinel-Review (Woodstock, Ontario):

"In an article in Monday’s newspaper, there may have been a misperception about why a Woodstock man is going to Afghanistan on a voluntary mission. Kevin DeClark is going to Afghanistan to gain life experience to become a police officer when he returns, not to shoot guns and blow things up.
The Sentinel-Review apologizes for any embarrassment this may have caused."

From the Daily Telegraph (UK):

"APOLOGY: In Friday’s article on Liz Hurley’s wedding it was wrongly stated that the actress is holding a pheasant shoot on the Sunday after the ceremony. Game shooting is of course illegal on Sundays and the pheasant season ended on Feb 1. We apologise for the error and accept that if any shooting is to be done it will be by the paparazzi, who have no season and do not observe the Sabbath."

From The Guardian:

"We misspelled the word misspelled twice, as mispelled, in the Corrections and clarifications column on September 26, page 30."

The Mirror (UK):

"BIG Brother’s Carole is a sexual health worker, not a sex worker, which usually means something rather different (Page 33, July 13)."


"In the May 25 “Explainer,” Michelle Tsai asserted that an eight ball is about 10 lines of cocaine. While the size of a line depends on personal preference, most users would divide an eight ball into more than 25 lines."

And so on, and so on.
Hmmm...my life has been decidedly dull as of late, so there's nothing else to report!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Thoughts and opinions.

I'm 25 years old, and sledding is still fun.
I don't know why I thought vodka and coke would be a good combination. (It's not.)
I want to get into a fistfight with a panther. Tim knows why.
Mike Huckabee is insane, and seems to have a shot at the Republican nomination.
I wish baseball season would hurry up and get here already.
For some reason I feel like I'm too old to still be buying furniture at Ikea. I do it anyways.
I win so much, they wanna know who I'm coached by.
My Christmas shopping isn't even CLOSE to finished, and I'm not the least bit stressed about it.
I have no New Year's resolutions.
And, I think that's it from me.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Sick days and snow days.

Hey kids, if anyone wants the Cold Sensation That's Been Sweeping the Nation, come on over! It's now in full effect. And I thought it'd be over a couple days ago. As usual, please excuse the rambling - but this time, I can at least blame it on the Robitussin.
I saw this messed-up movie last night that I got from Netflix, called "Death of a President." My brain is too messy right now to come up with a proper synopsis of my own, so I'll be copying and pasting here to give you a better idea - (from netflix.com) "This provocative mockumentary imagines the assassination of President George W. Bush and the fallout that follows, including the media's reaction, the rush to convict an assassin, and the machinations of President Cheney."
It was quite strange, especially since this fictional assassination took place in Chicago, at the Sheraton right around the corner from where I work, so I recognized a lot of places where it was filmed.
I've also been watching a lot of "Law and Order: SVU." That really also creeps me out. For those of you who don't know, "SVU" follows the normal "Law and Order" format, but focuses on victims of sexually-based offenses. This is why Tivo is a bad idea. I'm starting to get bored of it, but we've got 30+ episodes recorded (thank you, USA marathons), so when I've got nothing better to do...
And what would any monotonous, repetitious show be without a drinking game? I'm not a big fan of actually participating in them, but the idea cracks me up, at the very least: (This was pulled from http://www.chatteringmagpie.com/Chattering-Magpie-blog/83/law-and-order-svu-drinking-game):

  • Discovery of body missing parts = 1 drink per missing body part

  • Subsequent discovery of body part matching body = 1 drink per body part

  • Discovery of body part not matching original body = give a drink to someone else

  • ME or CSI find single piece of evidence (eg. fiber, hair, drop of blood, bite mark) that ties perp to vic = 1 drink

  • Russian mob hit = 1 shot Stoli

  • Mafia hit = 1 glass Chianti

  • Asian gang hit = 1 cup plum wine

  • Sexual perversion you’ve never heard of = 1 drink

  • Sexual perversion you’ve engaged in = 1 drink and hope no one notices

  • Detectives trick a suspect into giving up DNA sample (eg. by inciting suspect to spit on them) = 1 drink

  • Successful DNA match as a result of above = 2 drinks

  • DNA evidence subsequently thrown out by a judge = 3 drinks

  • Seriously whack family dynamic = exchange drinks

  • Det. Stabler squints and looks intense = 1 drink

  • Det. Stabler worries about his daughters’ safety = 1 drink

  • Any reference to Det. Benson being product of her mother’s rape = 1 drink and circulate number of local rape crisis hotline

  • Det. Munch bitterly refers to previous marriages/wives = 1 drink per ex-wife/failed marriage

  • Det. Munch interjects conspiracy theory or other paranoia = cover your glass with your hand and drink so no one can see you

  • Det. Fin Tutuola says, “That’s messed up.” = 1 drink

  • Det. Tutuola uses urban slang = drink a 40 plus one for my homeys

  • Suspect flirts with/hits on Det. Benson = 1 drink and take a shower

  • ADA Novak gets chewed out by judge or boss = apologize insincerely and sip a glass of dry chardonnay
I'll add "Any time the phrase 'lawyered up' is used," "Any time Fin uses a pun that could be easily followed by one of those muted trumpets' 'wah-wahs'" and "Any time the detectives suspect a 'victim' cried rape because they had a case of 'buyer's remorse.'"

I got new books! "What is the What" by Dave Eggers, "IV: A Decade of Curious People and Dangerous Ideas" and "Killing Yourself to Live," both by Chuck Klosterman.

So anyways, I've got to get ready for work.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007


I see no reason why we have yet to come up with a cure for the common cold.

As my generation continues to "grow up" and have more of an influence on what the world sees, hears, and believes, this whole retro thing'll end up growing a little tiring. Case in point:

Just like when Wendy's thought "Blister in the Sun" was an appropriate song to use for a commercial, I'm burned out of the whole Mario thing, the "oh yeah the 80's were awesome!" by people my age and younger who don't even remember the 80's (I was eight when 1990 struck, so, um, not too many clear memories there). Anyways.

Somewhat big news coming up, but I'm reluctant to share for a couple weeks until everything is finalized. Guess you'll just have to keep checking back, huh?

Sunday, December 2, 2007


I am so done with this. Anyways.

Movies I've seen recently, for lack of anything better to write about:

Ratatouille: Yes, I finally saw this. Lame story. Good animation. Nice detail. I want a kitchen like that.

Live Free or Die Hard: Comes in at #3 of the 4 Die Hard movies (1, 3 (at a very close second), 4, 2). Justin "I'm a Mac" Long has done too many comedies to allow me to suspend my disbelief for this one. But I did enjoy the flying-semi-crashing-into-the-helicopter scene. And John "No One Dies Harder Than...." McClane is awesome in the end.

Alpha Dog: Lame.

Off to work.