Saturday, December 8, 2007

Sick days and snow days.

Hey kids, if anyone wants the Cold Sensation That's Been Sweeping the Nation, come on over! It's now in full effect. And I thought it'd be over a couple days ago. As usual, please excuse the rambling - but this time, I can at least blame it on the Robitussin.
I saw this messed-up movie last night that I got from Netflix, called "Death of a President." My brain is too messy right now to come up with a proper synopsis of my own, so I'll be copying and pasting here to give you a better idea - (from "This provocative mockumentary imagines the assassination of President George W. Bush and the fallout that follows, including the media's reaction, the rush to convict an assassin, and the machinations of President Cheney."
It was quite strange, especially since this fictional assassination took place in Chicago, at the Sheraton right around the corner from where I work, so I recognized a lot of places where it was filmed.
I've also been watching a lot of "Law and Order: SVU." That really also creeps me out. For those of you who don't know, "SVU" follows the normal "Law and Order" format, but focuses on victims of sexually-based offenses. This is why Tivo is a bad idea. I'm starting to get bored of it, but we've got 30+ episodes recorded (thank you, USA marathons), so when I've got nothing better to do...
And what would any monotonous, repetitious show be without a drinking game? I'm not a big fan of actually participating in them, but the idea cracks me up, at the very least: (This was pulled from

  • Discovery of body missing parts = 1 drink per missing body part

  • Subsequent discovery of body part matching body = 1 drink per body part

  • Discovery of body part not matching original body = give a drink to someone else

  • ME or CSI find single piece of evidence (eg. fiber, hair, drop of blood, bite mark) that ties perp to vic = 1 drink

  • Russian mob hit = 1 shot Stoli

  • Mafia hit = 1 glass Chianti

  • Asian gang hit = 1 cup plum wine

  • Sexual perversion you’ve never heard of = 1 drink

  • Sexual perversion you’ve engaged in = 1 drink and hope no one notices

  • Detectives trick a suspect into giving up DNA sample (eg. by inciting suspect to spit on them) = 1 drink

  • Successful DNA match as a result of above = 2 drinks

  • DNA evidence subsequently thrown out by a judge = 3 drinks

  • Seriously whack family dynamic = exchange drinks

  • Det. Stabler squints and looks intense = 1 drink

  • Det. Stabler worries about his daughters’ safety = 1 drink

  • Any reference to Det. Benson being product of her mother’s rape = 1 drink and circulate number of local rape crisis hotline

  • Det. Munch bitterly refers to previous marriages/wives = 1 drink per ex-wife/failed marriage

  • Det. Munch interjects conspiracy theory or other paranoia = cover your glass with your hand and drink so no one can see you

  • Det. Fin Tutuola says, “That’s messed up.” = 1 drink

  • Det. Tutuola uses urban slang = drink a 40 plus one for my homeys

  • Suspect flirts with/hits on Det. Benson = 1 drink and take a shower

  • ADA Novak gets chewed out by judge or boss = apologize insincerely and sip a glass of dry chardonnay
I'll add "Any time the phrase 'lawyered up' is used," "Any time Fin uses a pun that could be easily followed by one of those muted trumpets' 'wah-wahs'" and "Any time the detectives suspect a 'victim' cried rape because they had a case of 'buyer's remorse.'"

I got new books! "What is the What" by Dave Eggers, "IV: A Decade of Curious People and Dangerous Ideas" and "Killing Yourself to Live," both by Chuck Klosterman.

So anyways, I've got to get ready for work.

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