Monday, June 30, 2008

Not such a great day today - hopefully things will get back to normal soon enough. Today has been about me trying to figure out my somewhat immediate future, and it's not going so well yet (the figuring out, that is - my life in general is going pretty good).

I know a blog shout-out doesn't mean much, but - you know who you are - you're in my thoughts and prayers.

Where am I?

A quick Monday morning post before I knock out the crossword.
If one thing's been clear from the news this weekend, it's that America is no longer America.

It might be the Washington Post's assertion that Barack Obama's dream for America is to turn us into Canada.
It might be White Sox and Cubs fans unifying to kick the crap out of an annoying fan at the Cell yesterday, in a scene oddly reminiscent of a stadium full of British soccer hooligans:

Or, to examine the question "What country am I in, again?" in another sense, Bush and Cheney apparently plan on continuing to shred the Constitution right up until noon on January 20th.
From the article:

President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney have rejected findings from U.S. intelligence agencies that Iran has halted a clandestine effort to build a nuclear bomb and "do not want to leave Iran in place with a nuclear program," Hersh said.

So it looks like the boys want to take us into WMD Part 2: No, Seriously This Time! I'm utterly terrified of the leadership in this country, and am without a doubt looking forward to a change.
Apparently I'm not the only one: the "Days Until Bush Leaves Office" blog posts every day with only a sentence. Today's post: "As of today, it is only 204 days until Bush leaves office."
In fact, I'm going to add a countdown, courtesy of the folks over at Backwards Bush - that'll be on the right side of the blog.

Okay. What else what else what else? There's a jackhammer going off across the street (started at 7:30 this morning - aren't there laws about this?) so I'm finding it more difficult than usual to focus, and the noise is making me a little nauseous. Until next time....

Saturday, June 28, 2008


My plans may be a changin' in a hurry. Of course, you'll know when I know.
I had yesterday off - it was nothing earth shattering, but a pretty good day nonetheless. I hung around the house for a while, really did nothing in particular. Oh, I got The Ten Commandments on Netflix - it's such a ridiculously awesome cheesy movie. It's well known for its anachronisms - like the safety pin on Baby Moses' diaper, and the frickin' wristwatch on Moses' arm - so that's always a fun part of watching the movie. Then Sam came over, we chatted, had a couple drinks, whatever. Fairly decent day as far as days off go.
Other than that, I really have nothing to say. We'll see as I get this train a'rollin - which is a perfect segue into my "picture post of the day":


It's a beautiful day here in Madison - a lot cooler than it has been the past couple of days. I've got all the windows open, the house to myself (as Tim's going to Milwaukee to pick up his girlfriend, who's flying in from Calgary today), and...I'm wasting the late morning/early afternoon on the computer.

There's a lot of political garbage flying back and forth between the Obama and McCain camps. This is what I despise about politics - it'd be so hilarious and entertaining if the results didn't have such serious implications on the future of the good ol' US of A.
Democratic bloggers are making a huge issue of the "McCain doesn't know how to use a computer" story. Yes, it's relevant, but only in the "The first George Bush doesn't know how much a gallon of milk costs." I'm not sure how to explain it any more than that - I'm only saying that it's not very high up there on my "reasons I won't vote for McCain" list. (Which is fairly long - his illegal manipulation of the public financing system being one of many.) But the pseudo-controversy does spawn some pretty funny pictures from the Internet:


I will jump into the whole "McCain made a joke about beating his wife!" discussion. While it might have been inappropriate (and slightly reminiscent of GWB's awkward "Filipinos remember to cut the crust off of my PB&J" (not a direct quote) comment - see the previous post if you're confused), I'm not going to jump all over him for this one. For those of you who don't feel like clicking on the article, McCain was asked why he didn't choose the Republican governor of Nevada, Jim Gibbons, to chair his Nevada campaign:

"Maybe it's the governor's approval rating and you are running from him like you are from the president?"

McCain: "(Chuckling) And I stopped beating my wife just a couple of weeks ago . . . "

Let's stop getting all hyper-sensitive and understand that this is an old joke. McCain was responding to what we call a LOADED QUESTION - the joke being "Have you stopped beating your wife?" is impossible to answer, because it assumes that at a point in time, the questionee (not a word, whatever) did beat his wife. Therefore, either answer ("yes" or "no") is inappropriate for the situation. We should maybe be concerned that McCain doesn't seem to understand that this type of answer is inappropriate, but we should also fight against this type of bias from the media, as the question itself is designed to make the recipient look bad. In this sense, the media has stepped out of its role of reporting the news, and turns themself into an entity which creates the news.

Both sides have their problems and play their blame-games - Republicans love the phrase "..b-b-b-but CLINTON!" while a lot of Democrats will be quite disappointed when they realize that our culture has contributed to a lot of our problems - not necessarily all the fault of George W. Bush - and on the same side of the token, there are a lot of things that a President Obama wouldn't be able to fix.
I know I'm rambling (which I'm actually quite good at), so I'll move on. I seem to have an issue with forming a coherent thought today. I'll just throw some pictures at you, hope it gives you a giggle (or a good, long cry, like the following one), and we'll see from there.


This is a real coupon. You've got to be kidding me.


And, with no real point or purpose, just things I found hilarious:



Whew. Enough of that.

Book review of the day - High School Confidential: Secrets of an Undercover Student, by Jeremy Iversen. I'd link the Amazon page, but no one's posted reviews or anything, so it wouldn't really be worth anyone's time, would it? Although it might not be worth Amazon's time, it should certainly be worth yours, if you're the type of reader who can get through the realities of what high school is today. In short, the 27 year old Iversen posed as a senior at a high school in California, and wrote a book. Hooray. Seriously, it was a good read (I went through it in a day and a half), while at the same time, a bit scary if you're interested in such minor details as, say, the future of our country. But don't take my word for it!

Seriously, I can't think today - I don't even know why I'm posting, other than not to disappoint my adoring fan base.
/yawwwn....what else?

Oh, here's something cool - What would London look like in the year 2090, a time when (apparently) rising sea levels have flooded the city?

And an interesting step in video game art - characters and such are put into their real life settings. Again, my brain is halfway shut down, so I know I'm not describing it as best as I can, just click and look.



It reminds me of another similar set - the Mike Tyson's Punch-Out Art page.

I've added a new page element to the blog, just because I think it's kindof cool. The blog roll on the right side gives snippets of the latests posts from the blogs I'm reading.
Well, that's about it out of me. Time to

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Charlie is making me dumber, and other off topic ramblings.

I have absolutely nothing to write about. Yet, here I am. Proceed at your own risk.

So, Yahoo has taken over Babelfish translation (this may or may not have happened recently, but I just noticed it, so it's new to me!), and they're apparently making it better. I just kicked through the first sentence of this post (English to German, and back again):

I have absolutely nothing to write about. Yet, here I am. Proceed at your own risk.

Ich habe absolut nichts, ungefähr zu schreiben. Jedoch, hier bin ich. Fahren Sie an Ihrem eigenen Risiko fort.

I have absolutely nothing to write approximately. However, here am I. Continue at your own risk.

Yeah...not quite there, guys. It'll never be good until the computer can analyze context for words with multiple meanings (see: about, in this case meaning "of; concerning; in regard to," while Babelfish mistakenly uses the "near; close to; approximately" definition). But they do seem to have fixed the grammar a bit, understanding that not every language is structured just like English, so using the proper "Jedoch, hier bin ich," (which is the appropriate German structure, meaning literally "Yet, here am I") but curiously enough, not switching back to the common English structure on the retranslation (which would be "here I am"). Anyways. I'm a loser and think about things like this. Moving on!

Things are getting crazy and goofy at work. I'm in an awkward position right now - let's leave it at that. The situation is stressing me out a little more than it should.

Okay, so this came out like...more than a year ago, but it's still making its rounds on teh Intertubes. It's really a testament to the power of the internet, if you want to get all philosophical and crazy about it. As I post this, this video, of two kids somewhere in the UK, has been viewed 34,629,375 times.

Not a typo.


Over the last thirteen months.
Totally safe for work, by the way.
Without any further ado, here it is, "Charlie bit my finger."

As the Internet is likely (no, inevitably GOING) to do, the video has spawned a wave of imitators and remixers (all also safe for work):

(You can't see it, but I'm shaking my head and crying for the fate of humanity, while simultaneously passing it along to all three people who'll end up reading this. Color me human.)

On another note, (maybe just realizing this after watching the "Charlie" video sixteen times), I think I'm getting dumber - kindof like that Simpsons episode. I blame the internet.
From the article:

Bruce Friedman, who blogs regularly about the use of computers in medicine, also has described how the Internet has altered his mental habits. “I now have almost totally lost the ability to read and absorb a longish article on the web or in print,” he wrote earlier this year. A pathologist who has long been on the faculty of the University of Michigan Medical School, Friedman elaborated on his comment in a telephone conversation with me. His thinking, he said, has taken on a “staccato” quality, reflecting the way he quickly scans short passages of text from many sources online. “I can’t read
War and Peace anymore,” he admitted. “I’ve lost the ability to do that. Even a blog post of more than three or four paragraphs is too much to absorb. I skim it.”

Right there with ya, Bruce. I'd like to add (well, if it wasn't already in the article - I skimmed it - ha) that the nature of the Internet makes us easily distractable. See previous subject - back to "Charlie" - while looking that video up, YouTube pointed me to a variety of remixes and parodies, which ended up leading me to a video of some kid making faces, which led me on and endless loop back to the "I like turtles" kid, which had me on my page searching for, and subsequently watching, the "All y'all who seen the leprechaun say YEEE-AHH!" video, cracking myself up a little, which for some reason brought me to Saturday Night Live's brilliant parody of Dora the Explorer:

And then I forgot what I was talking about. See what I mean?

If you think the media-heavy blog post is stopping here, be forewarned that this train is just gettin' rollin.'
This is probably the best beer commercial ever made:

For some reason (probably because it's HILARIOUS), it was decided that Stockholm's subway map should be translated from Swedish to English. If you need to get from Awful Village Hospital to Rock Star, the map is here!

French people are insane:

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

And I think the Fresno Grizzlies (who are the AAA affiliate of the San Franciso Giants) have found their new left fielder:

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

No politics today, because I'm feeling dumb and uninspired. Well, there's, um, one thing that bears mentioning, I suppose. For the past eight years, soon-to-be-former-President Bush has been revealing himself as the idiot who runs his mouth and ends up finding his foot in it, possibly because he's uncomfortable and needs to say something, anything, to fill the silence. Inevitably, he ends up saying something mildly offensive, but doesn't really realize it, whether or not that actually makes it worse, I'm not going to debate. Anyways, here's the story.
Filipino president Gloria Macapagal Arroyo was at the White House yesterday, discussing possible aid for her country as it recovers from last week's typhoon. Bush, while probably unsuccessfully attempting to switch the direction of the conversation to Muppet Babies and his golf swing, says (from the White House transcript):

PRESIDENT BUSH: Madam President, it is a pleasure to welcome you back to the Oval Office. We have just had a very constructive dialogue. First, I want to tell you how proud I am to be the President of a nation that -- in which there's a lot of Philippine-Americans. They love America and they love their heritage. And I reminded the President that I am reminded of the great talent of the -- of our Philippine-Americans when I eat dinner at the White House. (Laughter.)


PRESIDENT BUSH: And the chef is a great person and a really good cook, by the way, Madam President.


Might not be offensive, but it' of those things that could be construed as such. Awkward, at best. I think President Arroyo really had no idea how to respond to that. Kind of like "I like turtles."

So, that's more than enough out of me. I've got to head to work anyways. See y'all next time.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

The whatever in review.

Yeah, I've been ignoring the blog. What can I say, it's been a busy, busy week - especially towards the middle - I worked from 10 to 10 on Tuesday night, drove down to Chicago and stayed there, was up at 5:30 AM Wednesday, cooked for a while, left about 12:30, got stuck in traffic, back in Madison at 5 PM and went right to work (worst birthday EVER), went home, slept like I've never slept before, and worked 10 to 10 on Thursday. Luckily I had yesterday off - went to the Old Fashioned with a few friends, and sat in a booth drinking brandy slushes (lemonade and orange juice frozen with brandy, scooped into a rocks glass, topped off with Sprite and sour) and playing Scrabble (I placed third out of four - I'm an idiot). The Cubs/White Sox game was on, so I kept half an eye on that - not a good game (Cubs won 4-3 with a Ramirez walk-off home run, but all the runs by both teams except for the Cubs' first came off of the homer,, it was ugly). Went home and just crashed - read on the couch for a while, goofed off on the know how that goes.
And now it's 9:00 on Saturday morning, and I'm back to the couch, doing this, drinking coffee and listening to the hordes of people walking past my window to the farmer's market, punctuated by the idiot on his bongo drums playing on the street corner two blocks away. I really should go to the farmer's market. Everyone talks about how awesome it is, and yeah, but if you don't get out before 9 AM, it turns into the eternal shuffle - traffic moves in one direction and it'll literally take you an hour to walk around the Capitol Square. So no thank you to that.
So I'll be working tonight - really, really hoping it'll be busy - and tomorrow's the company outing - we're headed to see the Madison Mallards play the Wisconsin Woodchucks (seriously) - in a not-quite-single A-baseball game. Should be fun, though.
Speaking of minor league baseball, funny game in New York on Thursday night - ever see an ambidextrous pitcher face a switch hitting batter? (Link to video is on the page.)

(Can you believe I've made it through an entire post without mentioning politics ONCE? Well, here's something for you. Awwww...memories... - Keith Olbermann recaps the primary season.)

Oh, one more thing - you'll notice on the right side, I've added an image from - showing the current status of the Presidential, House, and Senate races. Take a look at that if that kind of thing interests you. Also, there are new links in the "links" section - the aforementioned,, and are all quite interesting sites related to the upcoming election.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Busy busy busy busy. Will get to a real post in a couple days, when I know a bit more about what's going on. Throw good vibes my way this week, okay?

Wednesday, June 11, 2008


It's too bad someone in the McCain camp caught wind of this and took it down - thankfully, we have screenshots and quotes!
Like, the store on John McCain's official site (which, by the way, sells everything from "Arab-Americans for McCain" shirts to McCain golf gear - seriously) features customer reviews of what's for sale. Let's see what happens when the internet gets ahold of it!

Wonderful gift for loved ones in sand trapsJune 10, 2008
Reviewer: Bo Baffett from Arlington, VA United States
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! Send one to every service member you know who will be stationed in Iraq over the next hundred or so years.

I like the golf pack, but why no yacht tarp?June 9, 2008
Reviewer: Joseph B. from Cotuit, MA United States
Sure this pack of John McCain labeled shwag is nice, and when I'm out on the course I use it as a subliminal message to remind my caddy that I don't support minimum wage. But what I'm really waiting for is the John McCain yacht tarp. WTF, Johnny Mac, my boat is getting wet! Thank you.

Not just for picking divots June 9, 2008
Reviewer: John Mc John from BOULDER, CO United States
There we were on the 17th green when a bedbug-ridden bearded terrorist leaped from the hole screaming godless gibberish. My pitiful peace-loving liberal partners grabbed their balls and ran, leaving me alone with only my John McCain equipment for defense. I slung my ball bag at his head and leaping atop the mangy rascal jammed my stiff club down his throat, finally finishing him off by jerking my McCain brand divot picker up his misshapen nose. Thank you, John McCain for giving me the courage to fight!

Reviewer: LazyMF from Texas
Bag is handy. Will hold 2 Vietnamese skulls.

Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
If you want to see more, here's the forum thread from *Warning - probably not safe for work, definitely not safe for polite conversation.

If you've only been following the mainstream news, you probably haven't heard that Dennis Kucinich introduced articles of impeachment against President Bush on Monday. The man talked for 4 hours and 40 minutes, listing 35 different crimes the president is guilty of. I'm not really going to state an opinion here - while I believe Bush is a psycho AND a criminal, I'm not sure impeachment is proper right now.

Well put.

So that's it out of me, I guess.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

If you didn't see Hillary's concession speech yesterday, here it is:

I really do respect that she's not taking this any further. The speech was a little too "me me me," but hopefully she's seriously about throwing her support behind Obama.
I wish we could fast forward to November and just get this over with, already.

I am a hypocrite.

Because three posts ago, I shared a story in which the author discusses how annoying people who always complain about their exhaustion are.
I'm about to do the same. It's my blog, I can do whatever I want. So there.
Anyways, I'm tired. I was in Chicago last night taking care of some business, got done with that about 12:30, said, "eh, I can make it back to Madison alright," ended up getting a little drowsy (after being stuck in traffic), and took a nap at the Wisconsin/Illinois border rest stop. So I got home at about 5 this morning, slept for a few more hours, and now I'm mainlining coffee because going back to bed right now isn't really an option (not that I have anything to do, I just don't sleep well after 9 AM, for some reason).

Can we talk about the Barack/Michelle fist bump for a bit?

Fascinating. But awkward. The whole POINT of the fist bump is that it's supposed to be flashy. It's supposed to be obnoxious, with the ARM EXTENDED, Michelle, not that little T-Rex-arm-bump you gave. But I'll give you points for effort.

Speaking of the election, apparently this is news. So let me give it an appropriate size and type style:


Here's the link, for those of you who think I'm not telling the whole story. This whole thing is @#!(#&!! ridiculous.

Those of you who have Gmail know about the advertising sidebar, which looks for words in your emails and lists paid links based on those words. I was writing an email to my mom, and Google recommended a site called Mommy Vomitpants, which, apparently, is "A blog by a Working Mom and Dad of One, and a Stay At Home Mom of Four with information and observations for other Moms." I'm a little disturbed by the title and don't want to dig around to find the origin of the nickname.

On another note, if you can think of a better way to get out of class, I'd love to hear it:

And finally, yes, I know this is an old one, but it's hilarious nonetheless:

What exactly were you trying to say there, kid? (Besides, of course, that you like turtles.)
The Bill O'Reilly interview was incredible, though:

Nap time.

Friday, June 6, 2008

Only in Madison.

I have nothing to say, really, except to share this little moment that cracked me up last night.
I was walking home from Jimmy John's last night after work, and see four or so women, in their late 20's or so, hanging outside of the Triangle Market and talking. All of a sudden, one more in their pack bursts out of the door and exclaims:
To which the others create a ruckus totally unbefitting the situation (including a "WHAT?!?" that was really more than a yelp than anything (imagine when you step on a small dog's tail, and you'll be close.).)
And the first girl says, "Well...she IS older now...she's like 29."
"Ohhhh, rainBOWS!, etc., etc."

I thought it was funny. Off to work.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Before this gets old and stale.

Okay, I realize the Obama video link from yesterday is broken (for some reason they kept switching the video's location around) but it seems to be in a stable spot now, so if you haven't seen it yet, take a few minutes and watch it:

On the flip side, John McCain's speech was so awful, even Fox News was ripping on him:

And I can't say enough how disgusted I am with Hillary supporters who insist they'll be voting for McCain come November, who feel like "their voices weren't heard" or that "they were ignored." Got news for you, kids, your votes got counted in the fairest way they could have been, it's just that...well...Obama got MORE votes; and if you're going to be such crybabies about this and cut off your noses to spite your faces by voting in a candidate who's the polar opposite of Senator Clinton, then, well, just go ahead and DIAF. Seriously. You talk about needing a Democrat in the White House, and that Hillary has the best chance of beating McCain, but then say stupid things like this...I can't understand it. And I don't feel like proofreading, because I'm angry and have to go to work in a few, so I'm sorry for the rant - the whole situation just blows my mind.
That's not change we can believe in...

Wednesday, June 4, 2008


The past few days have been an attempt to make sense of my life as it relates to my physical possessions - which namely involves tossing a lot of the random things I've accumulated into the trash. I've filled up two whole city garbage cans/recycling bins worth of things that a) have no sentimental meaning anymore (see: I don't even know what this picture is of), b) have no practical use (see: seriously, when was the last time I listened to the radio when I wasn't in a car...and more importantly, when was the last time anyone listened to a broken radio?), and c) things that fall into both columns (the collection of senior pictures of former classmates who I haven't talked to since the day I graduated from high school). Some things went into the "save" pile - family pictures, pictures with some sort of importance or meaning, my culinary school "create a menu" project...but the city of Madison Waste Management team (sounds a little better than "garbagemen," no?) is going to have an awesome time dumping the remains of my life when they arrive tomorrow. I can't believe I've moved...(/counts fingers)...a ridiculous amount of times over the past seven years, and have been carrying around all of this extra baggage for this long of a time. Throughout the entire process, that old Calvin and Hobbes strip has been running through my head, where Calvin's parents are sitting at the table saying "Thoreau said, 'Simplify, simplify...'" - providing a motivation and twice-filtered axiom to guide my project. (Random tangent - with the explosion of mass media, is it possible we're learning more about pop culture from shows like "Family Guy" and "South Park"? I used to be able to sit down with friends and watch "Family Guy" and only caught about half the references...but most of the unknown ones were filled in by the rest of the group for me. So now I know all of the things that I missed before...without actually knowing the originals. Just saying.) So, needless to say, I've got a small weight off of my shoulders, and hopefully a slightly less stressful move for next time.

I've actually been (gasp) making some time for a social life recently, something I've become terrible at doing over the past couple of years. I think I got to a point where I had roommates, and while I loved them, my space felt somewhat infringed upon, so I really valued my alone time. But, I've gotten much better at going out and all of that. Odd coincidence for you - I met my friend Sam at the Old Fashioned last night, and we were just hanging out, talking, and ordering obnoxious drinks to annoy the bartenders (who we're friends with, so I guess it's okay? Anyways, mmmm...sidecars.), and this guy sits down and starts up a conversation with us, and it turns out he just moved here from Colorado. We chat, he buys us a couple drinks, he leave, some other guy sits down (with whom Sam strikes up a conversation - she ain't nicknamed "Megaphone" for nothin'), and he's in town from Denver, on his way through to northern Wisconsin. Crazy, huh?

Okay, I'll stop rambling and get to what's become the point of this blog. Google Maps is starting to get out of control. Not even Cubs manager Lou Piniella is safe. (You have to grab the picture and pull it down a bit.)

Some people think telling everyone how exhausted they are makes them seem important.
But flaunting your fatigue only makes you insufferable.

That's all I've got time to share today. Gotta get to work.


Times a thousand.

More later.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

CNN is suggesting that Hillary's win in Puerto Rico may be "a game-changer."
I've been laughing so hard, I'm trying to catch my breath. But also crying a little. Leave it to the mainstream media to insist on keeping the story going even when the story is OVER.

To update my life, things are starting to fall into place for more things to happen. (Purposefully vague...) Hopefully one more week, and I'll be a little more sure of my position and figuring out the direction in which things are headed.

Back to your regularly scheduled Sunday afternoon.