A Riddle, A Mystery, and an Enigma All Wrapped in a Blueberry Crepe.

Is anyone still reading?

2009-01-09T19:26:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone. I know it's been a long time since I've rapped at 'cha. I really don't want blogging to feel like a chore - otherwise, what's the point? - but lately it has, hence my reluctance to post. I'm not outright eightysixing the blog - that'd be just a touch dramatic - but I've been so busy over the past month or so that I haven't had time to sit down and write, as much as I've wanted to.

So, I've got a rare Friday night off. My boss was out all week with the flu, which ran roughshod over my usual Wednesday off. He's back today, so I took today off. (I know the last three sentences were syntaxically nightmarish. Shut up.) All the kids are at work, so I've been taking some time to pay some bills, hang out, get some menu ideas down on paper, and plan the next few months of my life.

The most exciting thing of the night, sadly enough, has been the two hours I've spent on my personal budget. I'm not massively in debt or anything, but I've built up a little bit, thanks to some emergency (and not-so-emergency) expenses. I was looking at the numbers earlier today, and it was just intimidating, especially when there are things I want to do in 2009 - like buy a car, work for a couple weeks in France, and move to an apartment that contains an actual bedroom. So, I sat down with the bills and calculator, and was pleasantly surprised. I'll have my Juniper Visa (the company that holds the loan on my computer, aside from being a normal credit card) paid off by the beginning of March, my Capital One card (which was supposed to be used just for "emergencies" in the UK last February) paid off by the beginning of May, and a down payment for a decent car in mid-July. This is exciting stuff, people. My life is becoming (gasp) ORDERLY!

Anyways, I really have no other news. Just wanted to share that with y'all.

2008-12-17T20:51:00.000-08:00

No, I'm not doing a real post, because I've just been working, and that's nothing exciting.
I'm just going to say that I'm really disappointed in both Kanye West's and Common's new albums. You're both better than this. Hopefully this'll make you feel worse than if I just yell at you.
Back to your regularly scheduled programming.

2008-12-02T09:33:00.000-08:00

Seriously, there's absolutely nothing of relevance in my life worth reporting on. Not to say there's nothing relevant in my life - things are happening, but the story of my past couple of days would bore you to tears - a "I woke up at 8 and made a pot of coffee and went to work at 11 and we were slow so we closed at 8:30 then we went out and I had two drinks and some onion rings that were burnt" kind of thing.
I did buy myself a Christmas present, because I've been incredibly awesome about paying off my credit cards. Looking to get out of town in January or February, but right now the cost is too prohibitive, especially since it's nice to see the credit cards get closer and closer to zero.
What was I saying? Oh yeah, my Christmas present:

From art.com, because I'm a huge nerd. It's about 15"X17" including the frame - the picture isn't quite accurate because I got it cropped around the white part of the picture itself, with a 1" mat around it, so it doesn't look quite so rectangular.
Anyways, I'm off to work.

2008-12-01T08:50:00.000-08:00

The vindictive Obama scenario.
He "appoints" Hillary as Secretary of State. Hillary resigns her Senate seat. Obama takes back his offer. Hillary is left without a job.
I kid, of course. I can think of a million reasons this would be a bad idea.
Might be a little funny, though.

2008-11-28T10:58:00.001-08:00

This has gone too far.

2008-11-25T10:06:00.000-08:00

I just heard someone throw up outside my building. Lovely.
Happy Thanksgiving Eve Eve. I'll be going back to Greendale (funny, I almost said "Wisconsin", until I remembered I live in Wisconsin now.) to celebrate the holiday with the family, sans my freedom-hating-latte-sipping-Canadian-brother. (That was a joke. Everyone laugh now. NOW!) It'll be nice to decompress for a few days.
Off to work. I'll be careful not to step in anything.

2008-11-23T12:05:00.003-08:00

Thank you, internet, for being a sadistic piece of $#%(!$***.
I should really just get a Twitter account if I'm going to post like this.
On to bigger, better things.

2008-11-23T11:24:00.000-08:00

I feel really old today. Everything hurts. I'm staying inside and watching movies and drinking coffee, and that's that.
Scary story today out of Yahoo News. United States "elected officials" flunked a civics exam given by the Intercollegiate Studies Institute, with an average score of 44%. Your average Joe Sixpack/the Plumber (ugh, give it up already, Nate) didn't do so well, either, with an average score of 49%.
The article doesn't clearly define "elected official," leading me to believe the ISI quizzed more back-woods dog catchers than they did senators or governors.
Oh, and I'm a nerd and a braggart, so I got 90.91% (or 30 of 33). You can take the quiz for yourself here

2008-11-20T08:50:00.000-08:00

Day off yesterday, back to work in a few, so I'm just relaxing, not doing much of anything.
I'm in the middle of programming my new phone, which I bought last night after my Motorola Q messed up the bedsheets on me. (What, that's the most polite way I can put it. While this might not be a family blog, I'm tryin'.) Best part was that I got it for free - of course, I had to sign up for two more years with Sprint, but, eh. Might I add to anyone reading, never, never buy a Motorola Q. It's got a good internet system, nice camera, camcorder, instant and easy Google Maps access, and much easier file attachment and viewing capabilities than I had with the Q.

Oh, I did laundry yesterday. Best change machine ever.

I also downloaded some new music yesterday. I was borrowing Catharine's car and wanted something a little more chill to listen to. All good tracks, I'm not into uploading and sharing, but maybe if you hassle Tim over at Friday Afternoon In the Universe, he'll review and post. But I'm just in the business of listing 'em:

Lupe Fiasco - Paris, Tokyo
Talib Kweli - Get By, Soon the New Day (feat. Norah Jones), Everything Man
Strange Fruit Project - Get Live (feat. Erykah Badu)
Jay-Z - Lost One
Common - I Want You, So Far to Go (feat. D'Angelo)
Guru - State of Clarity (feat. Common and Bob James)

I'd better get to work, so that's it outta me.

2008-11-19T08:43:00.000-08:00

Has it really been two weeks since I last updated? I'm getting worse than Maddox here.
You can't really blame me, it's been a busy, busy past couple of weeks. I'm still kindof winding down from this whole election thing, and doing what I can to put my life back on a semi-normal schedule. Politico and Talking Points Memo have been deleted from my Google Reader account, I haven't been nearly as avid of a fivethirtyeight reader, and CNN and MSNBC have totally gone off my radar.
But this deserves a look. As I've spent so much time railing on Republicans who follow party lines instead of what's actually going on, I feel that it's fair to share it.

Granted, the sample size is pretty ridiculously small. And I'm not sure if I agree with the premise that the cause is media bias in Obama's favor. Rather, I'd blame human tendency to naturally filter what they find (or believe they find) offensive instead of looking at all viewpoints.
I'm not saying everyone should put the same obsession I did into every election. But I don't understand how someone who's paying attention doesn't know Nancy Pelosi. So, in a roundabout way, long story short - vote for the man, not the party. Pay attention. This stuff is important. I think I can say as an Obama supporter, there's been a passionate response to his candidacy and win. But with that passion comes responsibility - to remember that our administration, Republican or Democrat, is working for us, and we're responsible for keeping them on their toes and to make sure they do what they were elected to do.

Anyways. I'm done with political stuff for now. Since I spent so much time blogging about this wedding, I suppose I should let you all know how it went.
Long story short, everything went really well. Of course, there's things that could have gone better, but Catharine and the wedding party were really thrilled with everything, so if they're happy, I'm happy. Menu:

Passed appetizers -
gougeres
greek meatballs
mediterranean crostinis

first course
pear salad with champagne vinegar, blue cheese, toasted almonds
butternut squash soup with apple cider, pear, vanilla, creme fraiche

entree (choice of)
pork - roasted bone-in loin with grilled peaches, watercress, braised pork shoulder, balsamic red onions
chicken - roulade with wild rice, wild mushroom ragout, thyme

2008-11-06T09:36:00.000-08:00

I supposed I shouldn't be surprised. Copies of the

New York Times and Chicago Tribune are going for hundreds of dollars on eBay.

I'm going to hang on to my Tribune, Times, and Wisconsin State Journal for now. (I also have copies of the Times from Obama's nomination, McCain's announcement of Palin, Obama's address at the DNC, and the other DNC coverage. Maybe they'll pay off my student loans someday (ha).)

2008-11-05T21:10:00.001-08:00

And did anyone catch this on CNN last night?

Half cool, half creepy.

Election ramblings.

2008-11-05T20:05:00.001-08:00

I'm having a really hard time processing the events of last night, but here's my best shot.
I'm not sure I really understood what was happening at the time. Of course, I was happy, but what I really felt was shock. Yesterday, I described my mood as "optimistically nauseous." I've been following this election like crazy. I saw every poll. I was on fivethirtyeight.com at least six times a day. I can tell you, off the top of my head, how many electoral votes are allocated to each state. The past few months for me have been beyond obsessive. I'd describe them more as "psychotic." I had stress chest pains in the line for voting yesterday. I couldn't concentrate at work last night. When all the major networks had called Pennsylvania, then Ohio, then Florida for Obama, I had a hard time believing that this way, finally, things would go our way.
I finished up at work and sat in the restaurant's private dining room, waiting for Lindsey and Veronica to finish their server stuff. The west coast polls closed. Immediately, the election was called for Obama.
I think it was at that point that my brain exploded. I still wasn't sure it was really happening.
We watched McCain's concession speech. Nice and gracious. We went next door to the Old Fashioned and watched Obama's speech from the bar. At the time, I thought, "Not a bad speech."
I called Sam and she came up to meet me. We headed up State Street, and followed the noise to Bascom Hill, hundreds of people walking with us. Hit the top, charged back down the hill, to the library plaza, where people laughed, cried, and gave speeches.
I've been getting chills all day. I still can't grasp how enormous this is.
And the cynic in me comes out. I don't like to refer to it as "cynicism", I think it's more "realism." So let's figure out what this means.
Yes We Can.
Yes We Did.
Vote in an election, that is, and work incredibly hard to elect the guy we thought would take this country on a better course.
But that's not all we should be doing. Of course I'm hopeful, among many, many other things.
As President John F. Kennedy so famously said, "Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country."
Unfortunately, this era seems more focused on the former rather than the latter. It's hard to blame us when we're told it's unpatriotic, socialist even, to pay taxes. Kennedy was great because he truly understood the challenges we faced, and what we needed to do to accomplish our goals. On the other side, the only thing George W. Bush asked us to do after 9/11 was go shopping.
Whether you've supported President-elect Obama or not, we all need to work together to make this country great. We can't just hope for change. We need to act. We need to keep tabs on our elected officials. We need to volunteer. We need to fight and work to make this country better. We need to understand that we need to do more than just vote. We need to sacrifice. We need to put aside the bitterness and rancor that has divided us into two Americas, and work with those who disagree with us instead of blaming the other side as part of the problem. That's why I voted for Barack Obama. I believe he can inspire our country to do more than just sit aside and hope for change. I think he can inspire us to take action. Yes we can, yes we did, yes we will. We voted in a great candidate. Now it's time for real change.
Pictures from last night will be coming. I got a new digital camera, but the pictures are stored on the internal memory, and I have to buy a memory card to switch the pictures over to.

2008-11-05T06:50:00.000-08:00

I'm just blown away. I have no words, so I'm not going to try.
My night was ridiculous. I'm still in shock. Pictures and video will be posted at some point tonight or tomorrow.
I was just out running a couple errands. It's 8:30, and there's not a newspaper to be had in this town. I was able to grab a couple - the last NY Times, the last two Chicago Tribunes, the last two Wisconsin State Journals - but (if we didn't have enough proof already), it shows how many of us realize the gravity of what happened last night.

2008-11-04T09:41:00.001-08:00

I was up early to vote today. Hit the polls at 6:45, didn't actually get to vote until 7:45. I was voter #307. It was great to see turnout so high, especially among a younger demographic who isn't known for getting up early or caring about elections. I just got a new digital camera so pictures will be coming at some point. Yes, I'm a nerd.
I'm off to work. My plans are up in the air tonight depending on business. Gobama.

2008-11-04T04:29:00.000-08:00

Go vote.

2008-11-02T19:03:00.001-08:00

I predict that the supposed "blue state blowout" won't happen, and the electoral vote will be tighter than most Democrats think.
Of course, I hope I'm wrong.
I'll probably have a real post after the election. Polls close in 47 hours.

2008-11-02T07:18:00.001-08:00

I'm still not voting for the guy, but I'm impressed with John McCain's ability to make fun of himself and his campaign - even the "Sarah Palin goes rogue" issue. Check out the clips from last night's SNL:

I really hope I can respect John McCain when this is all over. I don't know what happened to this campaign. Presidential politics brings out the worst in people, I guess.

And finally, SNL makes fun of Keith Olbermann -

59 hours until the polls close, if you're keeping track.

2008-10-30T08:25:00.000-07:00

Five days left.
Well, barring recounts, lawsuits, fraud allegations...
How can one guy (me) be so stressed over one election? I've tried ignoring it, but it just keeps sucking me back in. I think I need to take a vacation when this is all over.

2008-10-19T14:13:00.000-07:00

And this was just too funny to avoid posting.

Yes, I'm a dork. It's madness.

2008-10-19T13:38:00.000-07:00

Hooray, Bears win.
I'm feeling kindof "eh" today. Everything's good, I just feel oddly sick...my head is swimming a bit and I feel like I can't catch up and wake up. I tried to get out of the house for a bit, but that didn't help too much either. Maybe I need a nap, maybe it had something to do with the fact that I was up until 4 AM...who knows.
As I mentioned in my last post, I was in Iowa with the bride-to-be Catharine on Wednesday/Thursday. It was a good trip. We drove into Waterloo, I got to see the country club where the wedding is being held, and got a glimpse of the kitchen so I could mentally set up the line and had a meeting with the chef and manager of the club to discuss the menu. Some things on the menu stayed, some left, but overall we're pretty happy with the menu.
I've been taking a look at some of the polling sites a LOT over the last week. I don't know what the folks over at DailyKos have been smoking, but their map has Obama winning Montana, North Dakota, and Georgia, as well as the very-close states of West Virginia and Missouri. I think that'd be the absolute best Dems could hope for, but I really think it's unrealistic. Maybe he'll take West Virginia and Missouri (fivethirtyeight has the chances of that happening at 41% and 64%, respectively), but I think it'd take a serious stroke of luck to take all five. Assuming wins for Obama in Virginia, Florida, Ohio, Nevada, Indiana, and North Carolina as well (as dailykos does), this would put him at 401 electoral votes to McCain's 127, a number that hasn't been reached by any candidate since Bush in 88, oddly enough. I think a more realistic number is 375. Nevertheless, that's the idealist's best-case scenario.
The map is getting harder and harder for McCain. He needs to hang on to red states - and evidenced by the tightening in Missouri, North Dakota, Indiana, West Virginia, etc, etc, it's looking much more difficult for him.
On another note, Obama's going to be in Madison on Thursday at noon. We're definitely going. Apparently people from the restaurant are trying to contact his campaign to get him in for dinner with us, but it's incredibly doubtful (at least, in my opinion). But how cool would that be?

2008-10-16T11:21:00.000-07:00

Just got back from Iowa - had a good trip, more details later.
The official description of this picture says "US Republican presidential nominee Senator John McCain (R-AZ) reacts to almost heading the wrong way off the stage after shaking hands with Democratic presidential nominee Senator Barack Obama (D-IL) at the conclusion of the final presidential debate at Hofstra University in Hempstead, New York, October 15, 2008."
I think he briefly turned into a zombie. Judge for yourself.

2008-10-12T19:30:00.000-07:00

I don't think ANYONE saw this one coming. So forget the projections I made a couple weeks ago. I don't want to say this one is in the bag for Obama, but it's getting pretty close. Remember, ANYTHING can happen in the next three weeks - so this is not over yet.
Since we talked last, Obama has pretty much solidified Pennsylvania (fivethirtyeight puts his chances of winning that state at 97%). He's also made significant gains in states that were either maybes or "never in a million years will go blue." (See: West Virginia).
27otowin.com lists the current swing states as Nevada, Colorado, Missouri, Indiana, Ohio, Virginia, North Carolina, and Florida.
But if you add up all of the states that the site has "solid blue," he's already got 264 electoral votes. Six short. If he wins any one of these states (except for Nevada, which only has five votes), he's got the election.
More numbers from fivethirtyeight - the chances that he will win each of these states:
Nevada 79%
Colorado 93%
Missouri 55%
Indiana 50%
Ohio 75%
Virginia 93%
North Carolina 62%
Florida 83%

So it looks pretty good. In fact, fivethirtyeight says it's 94.1% good. I'll take those odds.
Nothing's settled, though. Make sure you vote.

2008-10-11T22:02:00.001-07:00

They were saying "Boo-urns!"

2008-10-11T11:37:00.001-07:00

Whether it's the fact that the campaign "terrorist" rhetoric is falling flat in the polls or if it's that he honestly believes that the slander is dishonorable - regardless, it's good to see John McCain stand up to it.

2008-10-09T22:45:00.001-07:00

Ugh.

2008-10-07T08:19:00.001-07:00

Keating Economics - John McCain and the Making of a Financial Crisis

2008-10-05T21:02:00.000-07:00

Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

From http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2008/10/05/politics/fromtheroad/entry4502743.shtml :

(OMAHA, NEB.) - Sarah Palin said at a hastily scheduled Sunday night rally in this solidly red state that the decision to come here was hers alone and was not the defensive move by her campaign to lock up Nebraska’s 2nd Congressional District that many pundits have suggested.

“The pundits today on TV—one of them was saying, check out the vice president’s schedule, check out where she’s going — she’s going to Nebraska,” Palin said.

“But the pundit was saying the only reason she’d be going there is ‘cause they’re scared, so they gotta go there and shore up votes. And I so wanted to reach into that TV and say no, I’m going to Nebraska because I want to go to Nebraska.

Nebraska is one of only two states that splits its Electoral College votes, and the Obama campaign is making a serious play for the solidly-Republican 2nd Congressional District, which is represented by Rep. Lee Terry, R-Neb. But Palin suggested that the obvious political ramifications had nothing to do with her decision to come here.

“And you can ask — and probably the reporters will ask — the top dogs in our campaign why am I in Nebraska, and it’s truly because I asked to come to the heartland of America today,” she said.

Joe Sixpack rears his head

2008-10-05T11:15:00.000-07:00

It's another lazy Sunday - coffee, baseball, rain. Yeah, I'll get out in a few. I think I deserve a little down time.
But for now...I finally watched the VP debate. I can't believe Palin WINKED at America. The whole thing was a little too down-home folksy for me. It's getting difficult to tell the difference between the SNL parodies and real life. It was so over-the-top-ridiculous - does she know she's running for Vice President of the United States?
That's all I'll say about that. It's image dump time.

2008-10-04T21:17:00.001-07:00

Lol what.

Shut up, I'll post for real tomorrow.

2008-09-30T07:16:00.000-07:00

So, you've probably all heard that the bailout failed yesterday. I don't really have a position on it - I can't support it just because Obama does (if you know me, you know I'm not that kind of voter), and, like John McCain, the economy has never been my strong suit. So I'm not sure how to feel about this one. On one hand, you can see the effect the bill's defeat had on Wall Street yesterday, and that alone is scary. On the other, last time the Bush administration told us that a bill had to be passed without delay or thought, we ended up with the PATRIOT Act.
After a little Googling, I found a good article from the New York Times explaining it all:

The Wall Street Bailout, Explained

Last night's debate.

2008-09-27T06:34:00.000-07:00

Did anyone else have the phrase "Main Street not Wall Street" running through their dreams last night? Regardless, it was certainly the cliche of the night.
Will McCain's obnoxious little chuckles become the new "Al Gore Sigh"?
Maybe more on the debate later. For now I'm headed to the farmer's market to pick up stuff for the menu tonight. I think I'm going to take the day off. See, I have to go to Washington and fix the economy.

This pretty much sums it up.

2008-09-26T08:53:00.000-07:00

And from the flip side:

Good news - the debate will go on! Thank goodness for DVRs, because I've got to go to work. Busy weekend coming up, then to New Glarus on Sunday for Oktoberfest (if you had my job, you'd LOVE company outings).

2008-09-25T07:44:00.000-07:00

John McCain needs a time out to get back to Washington and help with the economic crisis.
It's not at all because the election is slipping out of his reach and neither he nor Palin are ready for the debates. No, it's because he's a Real American Hero (TM) and we need to put politics aside to help the American people.
Seriously, Senator, how dumb do you think we are?
According to fivethirtyeight.com, "morning after" polls have found Obama's lead growing from +4 to +6 (Research 2000) and +2 to +3 (Rasmussen). Don't screw with our debates.

Exhaustion sets in.

2008-09-22T08:58:00.001-07:00

Hi everyone. Boy, am I tired! It's not over yet.
I apologize for my absence, but I've been working 12 to 13 hour days every day over the past week - with two more to go before a day off. It's been tiring, but really good and a lot of fun, oddly enough.
I'll do a real post sometime soon. For now, it's off to work.

2008-09-16T07:38:00.001-07:00

It's been a busy week, yes, I'm still alive.
Keep yourself entertained with Tina Fey as Sarah Palin on SNL:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/09/13/tina-fey-as-sarah-palin-o_n_126249.html

Ugh.

2008-09-10T08:47:00.001-07:00

I don't feel like doing a real post today. Over the past week, I've highlighted a lot of political stuff, full of links, videos, and all the rest.
But today...I turned on the tv to catch the rest of Prison Break and saw everyone's favorite Alaskan governor on MSNBC. Of course, I happened just to turn it on as she was repeating that tired line "On that bridge to nowhere...I said, 'thanks...but no thanks.'" Watched a minute and a half of last night's Countdown, couldn't do anymore.
I'm just tired. I've come to terms with the fact that I'm a political junkie, but today I'm not feeling up to it. All of the lies, the half-truths, and the plainly irresponsible, malicious, and dishonorable campaigning by the McCain side have really gotten to me today. And I can't handle it right now.
So, congratulations, all of you. I'm officially exhausted by the 2008 election. Less than two months to go. I'm sure I'll be posting more about it later, or tomorrow, or in a couple of days. But today's a great day to ignore all of the top stories that aren't really top stories - just the reiteration of the same. The sun is shining, there' s a cool breeze in the air, and I have errands to run.
Another post may be coming later today - with the kinds of links and videos I used to put on this blog.

Projections.

2008-09-09T10:04:00.000-07:00

Quick pre-work post of political projections.
Much has been said about so-called swing states. Obama's getting excited because it suddenly seems that Florida and Virginia are in play. McCain may still be focusing on Minnesota, Pennsylvania, and Iowa. Most people think the current "swing states" are Nevada, Colorado, New Mexico, Minnesota, Missouri, Iowa, Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New Hampshire, Virginia, North Carolina, and Florida. I think that the numbers will stay fairly consistent until November - so here's my analysis.

To the Dems - Minnesota, Colorado, New Mexico, Iowa, Michigan, Pennsylvania, New Hampshire.
To the Reps - Nevada, Missouri, Ohio, Virginia, North Carolina, Florida.

Mark my words and so forth.
If this plays out as I'm predicting, the Democrats will win narrowly - 273 to 265.
Just thought I'd share.

Politics free. I promise.

2008-09-08T07:38:00.000-07:00

Well, kindof.
The only somewhat-politics I'll deal with in this post is a New York Daily News fluff piece - apparently, even John McCain will be voting Obama. (Yes, of course there's a catch - just click the link.) Of course, this John McCain is a musician out of Brooklyn, and actually bears a slight resemblance to Senator Obama.

According to a Japanese expert on North Korea, Kim Jong-Il has been dead since 2003, and a team of lookalikes has been fooling the world ever since.

Cubs manager Lou Piniella and first base coach Matt Sinatro tried to drive from Chicago to Cincinnati for their matchup against the Reds this weekend. They got all the way to Pennsylvania before they realized they'd driven too far.

And, the Bears beat the Colts last night! I bet the restaurant's going to be dead tonight thanks to the Packers' opening night.

'Til next time...

2008-09-07T09:17:00.000-07:00

It's a decent little Sunday so far here in Madison - 65 degrees, intermittently sunny, breezy, a windows-open-with-a-pot-of-coffee-and-the-newspaper sort of day. Wood Brothers/Common Market/Blue Scholars on the iTunes, baseball and football on tv...and of course, I'm (somewhat) working, trying to come up with a draft for the restaurant's eighth anniversary dinner in two weeks, and being more or less tied to my phone and/or computer as the boss and I attempt to brainstorm over email.
I'm getting annoyed with Blogger. (Yes, Google, I'm talking to you.) As I briefly mentioned yesterday, the formatting just sucks. Copying and pasting is a hassle, and if I italicize, sometimes it doesn't understand when I say I want to turn the italics off. There's workarounds for most of the problems, but sometimes I have to throw my hands up and say "forget it" (like yesterday's post).
Did you really think you were getting a politics-free post? Good luck with that. Today it's just a copy and paste from, again, Josh Marshall at Talking Points Memo - here's the link to the main article - "Not Training Wheels We Can Believe In:

There's a lot of complaining that the McCain campaign won't allow anyone to interview Sarah Palin. And for the major news outlets that would be in line for such an interview there's a logic to keeping up the drumbeat. But McCain campaign manager Rick Davis is right: It's their campaign to run. They can do it how they want. Everyone else should just shut up, stop complaining and call the reality for what it is.

Davis says Palin won't give any interviews until she feels "comfortable" giving one. And this morning he added that she wouldn't give any "until the point in time when she'll be treated with respect and deference."

Sarah Palin could be the President of the United States in four and a half months. We tend to think of this as an abstraction; but it's true. And yet today she's so unprepared and knows so little about the challenges and tasks facing the country that she can't even give a softball interview.

That's really all we need to know. Yes, she's off being prepped at some undisclosed location. And I've little doubt that by the time her debate rolls around she'll be sufficiently pumped full of slogans and bromides to make a show of it. But now, this moment, is the one that tells us all we need to know.

As is so often the case, Palin is the incarnation of the Republican slurs. The darling of the hard-right; she gives a stem-winding speeches. She pushes all their buttons. But she's such a lightweight, they can't risk letting her answer a few questions. Not even on Fox. They know she's not ready and probably never will be. But they think the politics might work for them.

Moar Newwwwws!

2008-09-06T08:57:00.000-07:00

Attempt at a quick pre-work post:

Backlash on the maybe-or-maybe-not-Walter-Reed-mixup.
From Talking Points Memo reader SR:

I hope you are penning something to this effect: that the Walter Reed mix-up last night is indicative of GOP politics and policy-- that is, injured troops are merely political props, and even then the GOP can't get it right. If they can't get the actual Walter Reed up on screen as a political ploy, how can we possible expect their competence in addressing the needs of actual veterans at the actual Walter Reed?

Also from TPM:

Principal Donna Tobin of Walter Reed Middle School:

"It has been brought to the school's attention that a picture of the front of our school, Walter Reed Middle School, was used as a backdrop at the Republican National Convention. Permission to use the front of our school for the Republican National Convention was not given by our school nor is the use of our school's picture an endorsement of any political party or view."

Los Angeles Unified School District Board Member Tamar Galatzan:

"Though I am flattered that Senator McCain chose to use a school from my district as backdrop to his remarks at the Republican National Convention, I wished he had checked with me first. As a strong believer in public education, I don't think the Senator is the most appropriate person to showcase one of the premier schools in the Los Angeles Unified School District. He is unwilling to bring fairness and equity to No Child Left Behind and ensure that schools like Reed get the resources they need from the Federal Government. From what I've heard, that's not a priority for the McCain/Palin ticket."

(I'm having formatting issues, bear with me...)

In her acceptance speech, Sarah Palin said, "That luxury jet was over the top. I put it on eBay." True, she did. But McCain mixed up his facts on the issue when he said, "You know what I enjoyed the most? She took the luxury jet that was acquired by her predecessor and sold it on eBay — made a profit."

In fact, while the luxury jet was put on eBay, it didn't sell there. It instead went to businessman Larry Reynolds for $2.1 million - a half-million dollar loss.
Links are here and here.

Palin is being accused of intentionally stalling the Troopergate investigation, apparently hoping to hold it off until after the election.

And Palin's acceptance speech may have energized the Republican base, to the tune of $1 million in donations. But it rallied Obama supporters even more - ten times more, to be somewhat exact - as the DNC counted $10 million in donations after that speech.

Done with politics for this post - it's links time!
From the Telegraph, 20 memorable doctored photographs.
A kid from Australia RickRolls his school ten times a day, after (apparently) winning a contest to choose the school's bell:
And check out Dark Roasted Blend's photograph collections - namely Shipwrecks and Sea Disasters and The Most Alien Looking Place on Earth.

Whoops!

2008-09-05T08:00:00.000-07:00

I'm going to start off politics-free today. Go figure.
I keep meaning to share this, but I've totally forgotten about it until now.

United States researchers have finally figured out the trick to invisibility. The article, for all of you linkophobes:

Scientists at the University of California in Berkeley have engineered a material that can bend visible light around objects. This development could soon result in technology that can render tanks, ships and troops invisible to the eye.

Results of the US military-funded research are expected to appear in the scientific journals Science and Nature this week.

According to a report in the Sunday Times, this breakthrough follows earlier work undertaken at the Imperial College in London that achieved similar results with microwaves. Like light, these are a form of electromagnetic radiation, but their longer wave-length makes them far easier to manipulate. Achieving the same effect with visible light is a big advance.

The head of research, Professor Xiang Zhang, said in the case of invisibility cloaks or shields, the material would need to curve light waves completely around the object like a river flowing around a rock.

In essence, an observer looking at the cloaked object would then see light from behind it, making it seem to disappear.

Substances capable of achieving such feats are known as metamaterials, which get their electromagnetic properties from their structural mix, rather than directly inheriting those of the substances composing them.

They have the power to grab electromagnetic radiation and deflect it smoothly. No such material occurs naturally and it's only very recently that molecular engineering has advanced sufficiently to give scientists the opportunity to create them.

Not since Project Rainbow, when in October 1943 the US Navy rendered the destroyer escort USS Eldridge invisible to human observers for a brief period, has such a breakthrough in light-refraction stealth technology been made. Of course, that last bit's complete nonsense.

Cool, huh?

Are you tired of my politics talk yet? (Although I hear a resounding chorus of "yes" out there, too bad. Go write your own blog or something.)

First, FiveThirtyEight.com is, as of this moment, giving Barack Obama a 71.8% chance of winning November's election. More specifically, in Nate Silver's enigmatic formula (of combining current polls and voting trends), followed by 10,000 computer simulations, Obama wins the election 7180 times, winning 310.6 electoral votes, and 50.2% of the electoral vote. (Note - many people read this last number as a "virtual tie," but remember, the electoral college is what matters, not the final percentage. As we all remember from the 2000 election, a candidate can lose the popular vote while still winning the election - and according to Silver, there's a 4.84% chance this will happen to Obama, and a 3.83% chance this will happen to McCain.) More can be found on the method here. This is obviously good news for Democratic voters - preconvention numbers showed his chances at just over 50%. Of course, we have yet to take into consideration any possible "bounce" from the RNC, but my (nonpartisan) guess is that we won't see much of one (maybe a point or two), mainly because the "big speakers" McCain, Palin, and Giuliani really spoke more to the GOP base rather than doing anything to swing undecideds into their camp. We should know for sure the effect these speeches have had by Monday, I think.

Yesterday was a day of unfortunately placed headlines and screen captures. If I may:

Look Ma, no Photoshop!

So McCain gave his acceptance speech last night - blah, blah, blah, Republican talking points, all rhetoric, no policy. (Although I DID learn that he was a POW back in Vietnam. Did you know that? I had no idea.)
It was very "huh?" for all of us watching on television. He appeared to give his speech, yet again, in front of another green backdrop - which, as you may remember, got him in trouble while he clinched the Republican nomination a couple months ago. The audience was left to wonder - even Karl Rove mentioned it on Fox.
But as the camera panned out, the backdrop began to make more sense - or did it?

What is that building, and what relevance does it have to McCain's acceptance speech?
A bit of digging by the folks over at Talking Points Memo may have solved the mystery. Could it possibly be?
Yes, the building was (quoted from TPM):

"actually the main building on the campus of the Walter Reed Middle School in North Hollywood, California...several readers have suggested that perhaps one of the tech geeks charged with setting up the audio/visual bells and whistles for the evening was tasked with getting pictures of Walter Reed Army Medical Center but goofed and got this instead. At first I thought, No, that's ridiculous. This is a major political party with big time professionals putting this together. Nothing is left to chance. I mean, is this the RNC or a scene out Spinal Tap or Waiting for Guffman? I still have a bit of a hard time believing they're quite that incompetent. But when you figure in what appears to be the utter lack of any logic for this school being behind McCain and the fact that it has 'Walter Reed' in its name, I'm really not sure you can discount this possibility.

(ed.note: Special bonus snark: That's not stock photo keyword searching we can believe in.)"

2008-09-04T21:35:00.000-07:00

This is so sickening, I don't want to even post it, but I really feel like I have to say something of this outrage.
This video was shown as a "Tribute to 9/11" during the Republican National Convention tonight. For what purpose, who knows. It seems pretty obvious that the RNC was hoping to exploit our fears of terrorism and turn them into votes (if Giuliani's constant "9/11 9/11 9/11" wasn't making it clear enough).
This is repugnant. Disgusting. Repulsive. I could go on and on with synonyms, but you get the point.
Here's the video. The first 2:52 is the supposed "tribute," and then Keith Olbermann's response:

"Ah, I'm sorry, it's necessary to say this and I wanted to separate myself from the others on the air about this. If at this late date any television network had of its own accord shown that much videotape and that much graphic videotape of 9/11, and I speak as somebody who lost a few friends there, it - we - would be rightly, uh, eviscerated at all quarters, perhaps by the Republican party itself, for exploiting the memories of the dead and perhaps even for trying to evoke that pain again. Uh, if you reacted to that videotape the way I did, I apologize, uh, it is a subject of great pain for many of us still, and was probably not appropriate to be shown."

From the YouTube description:

This "tribute" which served to only throw fear into the political discourse and frighten voters was shown at the 2008 Republican National Convention. Keith Olbermann spoke for many of us at the sickening images used for political gain.

From the Boston Globe blog:

One of the most enduring taboos in American politics, the airing of graphic images from the September 11 attacks in a partisan context, died today. It was nearly seven years old.

The informal prohibition, which had been occasionally threatened by political ads in recent years, was pronounced dead at approximately 7:40 CST, when a video aired before delegates at the Republican National Convention included slow-motion footage of a plane striking the World Trade Center, the towers' subsequent collapse, and smoke emerging from the Pentagon.

The September 11 precedent was one of the few surviving campaign-season taboos. It is survived by direct comparisons of one's opponents to Hitler.

Contest of the Day

2008-09-04T08:21:00.000-07:00

From Slate.com, it's the contest to name Bristol Palin's baby!
From the link:

On Monday, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin shocked the political world with news that her 17-year-old daughter Bristol is five months pregnant. While the political ramifications of the pregnancy are much disputed, one thing is perfectly clear: Bristol’s baby will be born into a family with thoroughly weird names. Bristol’s siblings are named Track, Willow, Piper, and Trig; Sarah Palin and her husband Todd were inspired by a variety of sources. Track is named after the sport, a family favorite. Bristol is christened after Bristol Bay, a preferred family fishing spot. Trig, the family says, is derived from the Norse for true or strength. Willow is the name of a community in Alaska. And Piper—well, as Todd Palin told People, "There's just not too many Pipers out there and it's a cool name." (If you don’t find those speculations satisfactory, Andrew Sullivan posted speculation from two readers that Willow and Piper are named after TV witches; that’s been more or less debunked.)

Reader contest alert: With all this intrafamily competition for unique names, Bristol Palin and her husband-to-be, Levi Johnston, need your help. Send your baby name ideas to trailheadcontest@gmail.com or post them in the Fray by 6 p.m. EST on Wednesday, Sept. 3. Please write your suggestion for the baby’s name in the subject line of the e-mail or the Fray post, then include a sentence or two about its derivation in the body. (E-mail may be quoted by name unless the writer stipulates otherwise.)

Goodbye, summer.

2008-09-03T07:54:00.000-07:00

At least, it feels like it. We got our (hopefully) last 90 degree day yesterday here in Madison, a day which was dedicated to sitting in my apartment with the blinds closed and the fan on "high" watching baseball and movies. Overnight the temperature dropped like crazy, so I'm actually wearing a sweater and putting away hot coffee without feeling slightly dehydrated.
Hope you all had a good Labor Day weekend. Like I said, mine was really nothing exciting, but it was much better that I relaxed rather than running all over the state/Midwest.
Just got an email from Moveon.org. Go here and donate $12 or more to the Obama campaign and they'll send you a t-shirt. It was just about time for me to donate anyways, and I like getting things in the mail, so I've got mine on the way.

Pretty snazzy, right? The fight for the White House isn't over yet by any stretch. Donate as much as you can if you believe in a restoration of progressive values to our nation's government.
If you're unfamiliar with moveon.org, visit their website and watch the video:

In other news, Senator McCain has pulled out of an interview on Larry King Live after Campbell Brown eviscerated his spokesman Tucker Bounds on the experience question this weekend. It's a bit frightening that he has absolutely no response to this. Of course, they have complained that Brown's interrogation was "over the line;" CNN disagreed, saying they're "committed to covering both sides of issues." I see nothing "over the line" with Brown's interview - these are questions that deserve, no, need to be answered if we're going to elect a president on a little more than "Just trust me, I got it, I got it."
And, as you all have heard, the GOP convention is being cut short this week, presumably out of respect for victims of Hurricane Gustav. Whether this is sincere or an attempt to make a political statement out of a (possible) national tragedy has yet to be seen. Regardless, the McCain camp has to be very careful with this issue. The senator could win this battle and see a bounce for putting "America First," but it could also easily go the other way. If McCain is viewed instead as exploiting a tragic event for political purposes, it could be the last nail in the coffin for the GOP in 2008. I'd assume the plan is to give his acceptance speech among the devastation - and the next week will tell us if McCain has successfully navigated this tightrope.
Have a great Wednesday!

The Palin Drama continues.

2008-09-02T10:27:00.000-07:00

There's so much news today I can hardly keep up - but we're going to try.
Whew. I don't even know where to start. Shall we?
The evidence that McCain didn't properly vet his VP nominee is really piling up. As I mentioned in an earlier post, the campaign admitted McCain had only met Palin once, and had a "lengthy" phone conversation with her. Then, after campaign manager Rick Davis claimed that they had an FBI background check done on Palin, the FBI promptly refuted the statement. Now the LA Times is saying that "A GOP source with close ties to the campaign said that McCain aides "vetted her through Google and clipping services."
The Huffington Post is reporting that the McCain campaign has sent a team of "a dozen communication operatives and lawyers to Alaska", although, if senior adviser Steve Schmidt is to be believed, "the campaign always planned to send a "jump team" to the eventual running mate's home state to work with the nominee's staff, help with information requests from local and national reporters, and answer questions about documents that were part of the review."

Despite the supposedly thorough vetting process, there's a lot of stories coming out revealing things that may hurt the GOP in November, continuing the trend of John McCain's attacks on Barack Obama being rendered practically useless.
Yes, we're going to back to the big "experience" question. Both Tucker Bounds and Rep. Stephanie Bachmann were ripped on CNN this weekend (by Campbell Brown and James Carville, respectively) for McCain's choice of a VP with even less than experience than Obama:

And Palin has hired a lawyer for the "TrooperGate" investigation.
And she was a member of a "fringe Alaskan independence party."
And she admitted that the war in Iraq was fought over oil.
And she's "so focused on state government, she [hasn't] really focused much on the war in Iraq."
Despite her lack of knowledge and focus on the Iraq situation, Republicans have claimed that her executive decision making (as governor of Alaska) has helped prepare her for the White House, mentioning that she's in charge of the Alaska National Guard (something, they're quick to mention, Barack Obama has no experience with), and believe that this gives her "national security experience." But hold on just one second. Again, from the Huffington Post:

Maj. Gen. Craig Campbell, adjutant general of the Alaska National Guard, considers Palin "extremely responsive and smart" and says she is in charge when it comes to in-state services, such as emergencies and natural disasters where the National Guard is the first responder.

But, in an interview with The Associated Press on Sunday, he said he and Palin play no role in national defense activities, even when they involve the Alaska National Guard. The entire operation is under federal control, and the governor is not briefed on situations.

I feel like I'm missing something here.
Oh yeah, Palin's 17 year old daughter Bristol is five months pregnant.
I'm not going to make a big deal about this, because all in all, it isn't. I'm not going to get into the drama and gossip about whose baby Trig actually is (Google it if you want, but I think it's a lie, so that's all I'll say). But I will say that it affects the campaign in a couple of ways. First, it directly contradicts Palin's argument that "abstinence works," hence, we shouldn't be making sure kids understand how to stay safe if they don't choose to stay abstinent. Second, although the McCain campaign says they knew about Bristol's pregnancy before Palin was announced as the VP nominee, it casts a shadow of a doubt (among all of the other evidence piling up) that, as we discussed already, the vetting process wasn't as thorough as he'd like us to believe - which therefore becomes an extension of McCain's policy, proving (in a sense) that he's one to rush to judgement and make too-hasty decisions.
Obama's response, while speaking in Milwaukee yesterday:

"Let me be a clear as possible: I have said before and I will repeat again, I think people's families are off limits," Obama said, "and people's children are especially off limits.
"This shouldn't be part of our politics," he continued, "It has no relevance to Gov. Palin's performance as governor, or her potential performance as a vice president.
"And so I would strongly urge people to back off these kinds of stories," he said. "You know my mother had me when she was 18, and how a family deals with issues and, you know, teenage children, that shouldn't be the topic of our politics and I hope that anybody who is supporting me understands that's off limits."

A classy response, but obviously, one that's politically motivated, as it just looks bad to slam a candidate's family. It's the proper response, too, because he understands that the media will say enough about this story, and it won't do his cause any good to respond to it.

Anyways, it wouldn't surprise me if McCain has used the media to conduct his vetting process - in the next week, we very well may see Palin step away from the campaign with the "spend more time with my family" line, now that the national opinion on her seems to have been taken.

This is exhausting me, so it's time to go do something else.

The Palin Reaction.

2008-08-31T08:31:00.000-07:00

I know the subject lines lately have been reminiscent of a series of Robert Ludlum novels, but...go ahead and deal with it.
Lots of news and opinion coming today, reacting to McCain's Sarah Palin pick.
The Obama/Biden campaign says, "Take her. We've got ice cream."

First things first, it looks like the Palin announcement is going over like a lead balloon. There's been a lot of polling and tracking done (we're getting new numbers every day from various polling agencies, and will continue to have them right up until November 4th), and the undecideds/PUMAs are definitely not reacting in the way the GOP has hoped.

In fact, FiveThirtyEight published an interesting set of numbers yesterday, which seem to suggest that women view Palin more skeptically than men - I'm not going to copy and paste the whole thing here, but the article essentially says that many women see the move as an obvious pander, and are much smarter than the GOP gives them credit for.
The blogosphere echoes this idea. HuffPost blogger Linda Bergthold calls it "The VP choice that lost the presidency for McCain". Van Jones wrote that "John McCain has gone from maverick to "me too" -- trying to out-Democrat the Democrats and pick up some Hillary voters...But it ain't working.", and quoted a female friend who (accurately) said,

"Palin makes McCain look ancient, out-of-touch and totally yesterday. McCain makes her look like a perky kid. Each one dramatically and perfectly underscores the other's weakness. At least, nobody can criticize Obama's alleged youth and inexperience now. But this is not the best team America could produce, by any stretch."

And Susie Tompkins Buell, the mainstream media's "go-to PUMA," will hopefully pull a few more "Hillary holdouts" onto the Obama side with her essay on why she's finally turned the corner.

So, overall, it looks like this was a very poor decision from the McCain side - in their attempt to be smart, cunning, and neo-Rovian, it actually emphasized the obviousness of their tactics and the American people seem to know what's going on. In fact, Obama went from a virtual dead heat a week ago to a 8 point lead and a 4 point lead in the Gallup and Rasmussen polls (respectively).

We can also take a look at Palin's home state of Alaska. You'd think a governor with a 65% approval rating in a mostly-red state would find herself with good support from her fellow Alaskans, once you figure in the bump gained from middle-grounders who appreciate the small fish's recognition in the big pond, but as the news and polls are showing, this isn't the case, either. As I mentioned yesterday, the Palin pick pretty much nullifies the McCain camp's "but - but - but - experience!" argument against Obama, which is basically all they have going for them, save for the old and tired "traditional family values" line. Alaskans, seemingly a people difficult to fool with a little main-stage exposure, have been echoing this sentiment for the past 48 hours.

From the Anchorage Daily News:

Alaskans are delighted because the eyes of the world will be on Alaska as Sarah Palin campaigns for the vice-presidency...And it's stunning that someone with so little national and international experience might be a heartbeat away from the presidency...Palin joins the ticket with one huge weakness: She's a total beginner on national and international issues.

From the Fairbanks Daily News-Miner:

Alaskans and Americans must ask, though, whether she should become vice president and, more importantly, be placed first in line to become president...When a candidate for president picks a vice presidential running mate, that partner ought to have more qualifications than “She’s not from Washington.”...Most people would acknowledge that, regardless of her charm and good intentions, Palin is not ready for the top job. McCain seems to have put his political interests ahead of the nation’s when he created the possibility that she might fill it...It’s clear that McCain picked Palin for reasons of image, not substance. She’s a woman. She has fought corruption. She has fought the oil companies. She’s married to a union member. These are portrayals for campaign speeches; they are not policy positions...The televised punditry followed up with mostly positive comments, calling Palin’s selection a clever “chess move” by McCain. The chess analogy offers some caution. Gov. Palin, while extending her amazing adventure in politics, must prove she is more than a pawn.

And again from the Anchorage Daily News:

State Senate President Lyda Green said she thought it was a joke when someone called her at 6 a.m. to give her the news..."She's not prepared to be governor. How can she be prepared to be vice president or president?" said Green, a Republican from Palin's hometown of Wasilla. "Look at what she's done to this state. What would she do to the nation?"...Alaska Democratic Party chairwoman Patti Higgins, attending her party's national convention in Denver, said she was shocked to hear the news this morning..."In this very competitive election for them to go pick somebody who is ... under a cloud of suspicion, who is under investigation for abuse of power. It just sounds like a pretty slow start to me," Higgins said...The state Legislature is investigating whether Palin and her staff broke state law by pressuring the public safety department to fire a state trooper who was in a custody battle with her sister..."We need a vice president who can step in if, God forbid, something happened to John McCain," Higgins said. "I don't think she's someone who is ready for that 3 a.m. phone call."

From the New York Daily News, Palin's own mother-in-law may vote for Obama.

Is this starting to sound repetitive yet? You'd think all of these op-ed writers are plagiarizing each other - "a heartbeat away from the presidency," "stunning," "stunned," "hockey mom," et cetera, et cetera. But I think the repetition emphasizes what a (possibly) insane decision the nation thinks McCain has made with this pick. Time will tell if the numbers will even out at some point, or simply be another nail in the coffin for the campaign.

But Palin did have a great stint as a 24 year old sports newscaster, way back in 1988, for KTUU-TV up in Anchorage:

Wow, that accent. Yipes. But who doesn't like the mushing caption "LOTS OF DOGS"?

Now for a video that's not even close to politically related. Apparently, in St. Maarten, they only have space for a 40 foot runway (citation needed - sorry), so planes have to buzz the beach to get on the ground.

Happy Sunday/Labor Day Weekend!

The Palin Pick.

2008-08-30T07:36:00.000-07:00

You know you're a huge nerd when:
John McCain announces his VP pick and you get ten people asking you "What's up with this Palin chick?" (By the way, I've been hearing various newspeople stumble over this one for the past 24 hours, so I got it confirmed - it's "PAY-lin," not "PAL-lin.")

I've been reading a lot about this, and well, it's an interesting one. Some people are describing it as crazy, others say it's safe, and I really don't know - I think it's somewhere in the middle.
So, a quick pros and cons rundown (note - if you think you've heard some of these before, you're probably right - this is basically a combination of things I've read and things that are pretty obvious to someone who's following it closely):

Pros (to the McCain side):
- Looks "progressive" in picking a woman...
- ...therefore may pick up some undecided female voters
- and with Joe Biden's penchant for slightly inappropriate comments (for example "You cannot go into a 7-11 or a Dunkin Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent,"), the chances for a slip-up on Biden's end are decent, which would make it incredibly easy for McCain to label the Democrats as the "sexist" party.

Cons (to the McCain side):
- is the choice of a woman too obvious of a pander to disappointed Hillary voters? (see the CNN article which mentions that McCain only met Palin once - six months ago - and spoke on the phone with her once).
- the "Obama is too young and inexperienced" argument is basically taken off the table, as Palin is 44 years old to Obama's 47, and has two years of major political experience (as governor of Alaska) to Obama's four years (as United States Senator)
- with that being said, McCain may be healthy (so he says), but voters may be unwilling to take the risk of someone so inexperienced being so close to the presidency
- is young enough to be McCain's daughter, and her youth may very well amplify McCain's age in joint appearances (see also: Nixon/Kennedy debates)
- is younger and more attractive than Hillary Clinton, a fact PUMAs may resent (and, according to fivethirtyeight.com, this could very well be the reason for Obama's brand-new one point lead in Florida).
- slightly breaking news - on July 11, Palin fired Alaska Public Safety Commissioner Walt Monegan - apparently, because Monegan himself said no to firing state trooper Mike Wooten, who just happens to be Palin's sister's ex-husband (who passed out at 31 Flavors last night - thanks Simone). Needless to say, the firings seem to be personally motivated, and the Alaskan Legislature has convened a special commission to investigate the charges - with the findings scheduled to be announced a couple days before Election Day. For those of us looking to escape the shady dealings of George W. Bush, this kind of story doesn't exactly inspire confidence that a McCain/Palin administration would bring the kind of change this country needs.
- And, Governor Palin, you'd better find out in a hurry:

Don't think that one won't be used against her - like they say, saying something on the internet is like peeing in the pool - once it's there, it's really hard to take out.

So, politics is politics, and the game continues. Like I always say, it'd be a great game to watch if the implications weren't so frightening and the need to make an informed choice wasn't so important (note to all of you McCain supporters who may be reading this - notice I said "informed choice" - if you know what you're talking about and have done the research, go ahead and vote McCain - I'm not in the business of implying that every Republican voter is just uninformed.)
But nevertheless, it's an interesting game, and we'll see how these tactics play out against each other in November.
If I can get off of work, I applied to work a shift at my polling station here in Madison. It'll be a nice chance to hang out with some retirees for a while (ha). We're also in the somewhat-planning stages of an election party, with nowhere to have it (all of my friends, myself included, have ridiculously small places). Possible taglines for the flyers include "Celebrate or cry - drinks will be provided, regardless of the outcome" or "Drinks will be provided - unles you're a Republican and don't believe in handouts."
So, I'm going to get ready for work. Taste of Madison is this weekend, and they're expecting a quarter of a million people on Capitol Square - I'm not sure I believe that, but I do know that we're going to rock tonight - plus the Badgers open their season today, so it's going to be a busy night.

The blog returneth.

2008-08-27T16:02:00.000-07:00

Hey internet. Did you miss me?
Not much to say here, because I'm back like a kid in an amusement park - checking the blogs I read every day (and sadly, like fivethirtyeight.com, sometimes multiple times a day), finally getting my address changed for Netflix, the credit cards, and all of those people, et cetera.
But wow, what a hassle getting all of this done was. (There's SO MUCH cool stuff on here! What's first??) To condense the story, I called AT&T last week for internet and Directv for cable. I would've had all of this done a while ago, but Directv couldn't get on my roof to point the satellite dish (too steep, and a line of trees in the direction it needed to go). Canceled Directv, canceled AT&T, called Charter, found out it was cheaper than what they first quoted me, had an appointment between 8 and 12 on Monday, left my house for work at 12:01, cell phone to my ear and seriously pissed off. Got the appointment rescheduled for today, the guy came with 15 minutes left (like they always do), and totally pulled an attitude with me. He needed to get to the basement, the neighbors weren't home (I have no basement access), had to call the management company, they said they'd have someone over in ten minutes, guy threatens to leave and suggests I should reschedule because he "hears ten minutes all the time and then it turns into three hours", I refused to reschedule AGAIN because no one told me they had to get to the basement. Luckily the neighbors got home before he threw a temper tantrum (seriously, this guy had an attitude), and now I have cable and internet.
So that's that. I have the night off (for once) so I'm probably going to catch some of the DNC speeches then head out with the kids for a little while.

2008-08-17T08:33:00.000-07:00

No new posts until I get internet set up this week. The new apartment is good - but the wireless connection I was hijacking disappeared, so now I'll have to actually - gasp- PAY for it! You'll have to find some other way to entertain yourself for the next few days.

Vultures! They're everywhere!!

2008-08-13T08:20:00.000-07:00

I'd heard stories about moving day in Madison from people who have been here for a while. I wasn't sure whether or not to believe them until I woke up this morning. For the past two hours, I've been moving things I don't want or need out to the curb for the garbagemen to take tomorrow. I pulled a dresser out there earlier, five minutes later a couple of guys in pickup came and asked me if they could take it - I looked out a minute later (I kid you not) and it was gone. A box of books - gone. Two ugly chairs - gone. I've got a bookshelf and two mattresses out there now, so if anyone wants 'em...although, it just started raining, so they're a little wet.
I guess it's a good idea thing that my parents are coming today to help me pack my stuff into their cars - otherwise, I'd have nothing left.
Anyways, off to finish this stuff.

Oh, wait. Quick note to the media - lay off John Edwards. I don't condone cheating or infidelity in any way, shape, or form, but there's a lot more this country needs to worry about right now. Like, I don't know, like such as the John McCain:

2008-08-12T18:41:00.000-07:00

From the man who brought you "Thank you, Your Holiness - awesome speech," comes the President of the United States of America acting like a drunken frat boy while hanging out with the US women's volleyball team. (I know, I hate linking to CNN - you have to watch a quick ad.)

My favorite part is at about 35 seconds in when he says, "So what are you DOING here?" - like it's so strange to run into Olympic volleyball players at the Olympic volleyball court during the Olympics.
The part where he smacks one of the players on the backside is pretty funny too.
Or the part when you distinctly hear someone say "Sir, come on!" as if he's about to add "You're causing a scene!"
Or at the end when he winks and gives a look like "Oh yeah, they TOTALLY want me."
I think the whole video is funny.

Sickening.

2008-08-08T19:54:00.000-07:00

I'm urging you not to click the link I'm about to (hypocritically) provide (because really, these people don't need any more encouragement). I just saw this on the internet, and it angered me so much that I felt compelled to blog at 10:00 on a Friday night.

Stuart Shepard wants people to pray for rain.

Not because our fields have hit drought, not because he likes the sound of a good ol' fashioned thunderstorm, not even because his kids like to splash around in the puddles.

No, Stuart's praying for rain because he wants to wreck Obama's upcoming speech at Invesco Field.

Stuart, hopefully this message will get out to you (or another similar message). You seem like the type of arrogant idiot who Googles his own name on a regular basis, so maybe you'll actually read my post.

I'd like to mention that I never call anyone an idiot based solely on their political beliefs. As far as I'm concerned, if you've done your research, if you don't parrot all of the "Obama is a Muslim!" lies, if you get your news from more than one source, you have all of the information you should need to make an informed, rational decision.

But you, Stu (is it okay if I call you Stu?)...you've sunk as low as it gets.

With a arrogant sneer on your face (which I'd really like to slap off of you, despite the fact that I'm not a violent man), you've sat yourself in front of a video camera, twirling an umbrella like a demented, poorly dressed Gene Kelly (you probably don't catch the reference, because you believe in "families," not "the gays"), and worst of all, you've contributed to the problem. And you'd better believe I'm going to tell you why.

First, I'm not here to debate on whether or not Jesus would be a Republican or a Democrat. The United States of America didn't exist two thousand years ago, and we haven't gotten any sign from heaven telling us one way or another, so let's just consider that a moot point. Your arrogance and message tell me that you believe Jesus would be a Republican, and that's all fine and dandy. Let me back up, maybe I am here to debate that. I don't believe Jesus would be a member of either party. You say, "Look at the Bible! No gays! Eye for an eye! Et cetera!" I say go back and read that Bible. Jesus preached compassion, tolerance, and peace. Most people you ask (well, maybe not anymore, since you and your type have perverted the Bible's meaning and message) would say that the Bible, summed up in a sentence, says "Love thy neighbor." You and your party have gone completely against that mantra - you haven't helped the downtrodden or fed the hungry. Your party has been running a hate-filled dialogue for the past eight years, not to mention the Constitution you've disregarded, the innocents you've so thoughtlessly murdered, the lies you've propogated, the lives you've wrecked simply to earn a buck for your sleazy friends. Next.

Probably worst of all, your arrogance and hate has destroyed the very thing you claim to be fighting for - presumably, for more people to embrace Christianity. You've actually done the exact opposite. You've blocked the path to our expression of Christ's true message, because you've loudly and visibly declared "I'm a Christian! I hate things!", just like the name of Islam has been tarnished thanks to a bunch of insane hijackers who blew up some buildings. Now it's impossible to talk to anyone about religion without saying, "Wait wait wait. I'm not a nutcase. Hear me out." Yup, great job there, Stu.

Wow, I know this has been long - I'm about ready to wrap it up. In summary, your video was arrogant, juvenile, and just plain stupid. Not to discount the power of God in the slightest, but if you plan on your man winning in November, you'd better do a lot more than ask for one speech to be interrupted.

It's over!

2008-08-08T07:27:00.000-07:00

This is the last I will speak of this. Brett Favre is a Jet. This makes me ridiculously happy. I love the yummy sweet tears of unfathomable sadness of Packers fans.

Dear Brett - Go be annoying somewhere else.

And that's it.

100

2008-08-06T09:32:00.000-07:00

Dear Packers Fans:
You deserved it.
It's a sad little tragedy, in any situation, when people start believing their own hype - and when others start to exacerbate the problem, you've got a whole 'nother mess on your hands.
I've half-joked about this since I was eleven years old - normal life in Wisconsin stops when Brett Favre stubs his toe - but, just like with any joke, there's an element of truth to it. Packers fans have spent so much time obsessing over every move the star quarterback makes, to the point where one player starts to believe he's bigger than the team - and now it's coming back to bite all of you. Ha.
Anyways. As you may or may not have gotten from the subject line, this is the 100th post of this blog. Just wanted to mention that.
"Productivity" beckons, so I'm out.

Rock. On.

2008-08-04T22:17:00.000-07:00

Here's the story of my pathetic little version of Monday, August 4, 2008, written as concisely as possible, edited for beginning readers, et cetera, et cetera. Enjoy.
I woke up to a thunderstorm this morning. That was pretty obnoxious, as the getting-back-to-sleep thing got fairly difficult.
Eventually, I did get back to sleep, woke up a couple hours later - and the day really ran like any other Monday. Returned my library books, went to Starbucks (as I'm too lazy to ice coffee in my own house), did the crossword, went to the bank, got to work at about 11:30.
Put the stock on, checked the reservation book (30 - ugh), made coffee (again), did some assorted prep, checked over/signed for/put away the deliveries, sent the grill cook with the busted ankle home (again), set up the line, ran through the specials and menu changes with the waitstaff, got through service (minus the aforementioned grill cook), cleaned the kitchen like a madman, inventory, prep list, phone calls to purveyors for tomorrow's inventory.
Off to the Old Fashioned for a beer or two with Craig and the cocktail-waitress-crew, watched the end of the Cubs/Astros game (called in the eighth thanks to lightning), closed out, debated whether or not Cafe Montmartre was a good idea, decided it wasn't, bid the party adieu and walked home.
$100 Apple rebate check in the mail (hoo-ray) as well as a $25 iTunes gift card from my Juniper credit card rewards. Signed on to the iTunes store in a pathetic attempt to spend the gift card, and only bought four songs (seriously, how sad is it that I can't spend $25 on music and movies? Recommendations please.). Attempting an email to the family, but we'll see how that goes.
And I'm assuming bedtime will be happening in the next hour or so.
I saw "The Machinist" last night, after sixteen or so people told me I really needed to. And it was really good - kind of creepy, but very, very good. Netflix is seriously turning me into a hermit.
Anyways. Go do something productive.

A quick Sunday post...

2008-08-03T11:45:00.000-07:00

for a long Sunday video.
Just wanted to share this one with you guys - at 55+ minutes, it's not by any means a quick watch, but it's a fascinating one nonetheless.
For those of you who know me from real life (which should be all of you, as I don't know why anyone would sit through the pointless drivel and relative minutiae of things related on this blog if you don't), you're somewhat aware of my fascination with cultural anthropology and ethnography, especially as it relates to the internet. (See the previous post "Charlie is making me dumber, and other off-topic ramblings" for more of my thoughts on this, albeit less interesting and more spur-of-the-moment than the forthcoming example.) So, to me, this is really cool.
Anyways, watch Michael Wesch's Library of Congress presentation on the anthropological study of YouTube.

My mom's on her way from Milwaukee to pick up some furniture and help me clean out my apartment a bit before I move in less than two weeks. So, I'm looking forward to hanging out with her, as I've been an awful son who hasn't been able to get home for a couple months now (note: those are my words, not hers - what can I say, I don't think I've had consecutive days off in a few months).

But the consolidation is still happening, and the cleaning is going well. (Ugh, he's blogging about cleaning now? Yeah, I know...) The Madison sanitation specialists (or whatever "garbagemen" are calling themselves these days) must hate me. I think I might actually be able to fit into an efficiency.

So that's it from me, for now. You all have a good Sunday.

2008-08-01T08:33:00.000-07:00

I'm having internet issues right now - some pages are loading as quickly as usual, some just refuse to do so. It's a little frustrating, but somewhat expected when you're dealing with an unpaid-for wireless connection. Oh well.
I don't have much to report on. I've spent the last hour or so doing a week's worth of crossword puzzles, because I'm a huge nerd and haven't had the time or energy when I wake up.
I've been working a whole lot lately - but what's new? - it's more or less par for the course these days. My daily routine is basically: wake up/coffee/shower/coffee/email/read the paper/work/home/couch/bed. So that's fun.
Regardless, life's treating me pretty well right now. I'm trying to get set up for the move upstairs, and trying to get rid of a whole bunch of my stuff (I have a lot more furniture than I could possibly fit in an efficiency, so if you need any...), so I've also been trying to consolidate, consolidate, consolidate. I finally finished separating everything I need or want from everything I want to get rid of, and then finding the combination of dressers, bookshelves, and nightstands that'll take up the least space but still hold everything I need. And I'm happy to say, I think I've got a winner.
Yes, my life is ridiculously boring. I think I'll start a series of small fires in my apartment just to liven things up a bit.
I kid. I'm not a pyromaniac. But I am off to work.

2008-07-26T08:51:00.000-07:00

So. It's been a busy week. What's new, right? I haven't done much besides work - I watched a couple of movies - Batman, Batman Returns, Batman Begins - just to see what the hype was all about - and they were alright, I guess. The whole superhero thing never really impressed me, especially when (in the case of the first two) the movies are from the late 80's and early 90's and just so cheesy.
Anyways. I really have nothing to report on. Tim's in the process of packing for his move back to Canada tomorrow. I'm sitting on the couch, drinking coffee, listening to people outside go to the farmer's market, and blogging (but you knew about that part already).
To avoid wasting this post entirely, I'll pass along a couple of things that I've seen on the internet this week.
About a month ago, I posted a video of the Epic Ball-Girl Catch, which I thought was just about the coolest thing ever.
Well, my bubble has been burst, because the whole thing was revealed to be a hoax - the "ball-girl" was actually a stunt woman, and the "game" was a Gatorade commercial. Oh well.

The whole "accidentally" calling Obama "Osama" and vice versa is getting pretty old. If you really can't tell the difference, Jon Stewart gives us some ways to remember - for example, "Obama has only ONE radical Muslim wife."

And, I've seen some close calls (well, on the internet), but...whoa.

Supersized Sunday post

2008-07-20T08:48:00.000-07:00

Wowza. Yesterday was quite the day. (Of course I mean "at work," do I really have anything else to talk about?) Long story short, our tiny kitchen was ridiculously busy and insanely hot last night - especially in my little grill corner, which holds a large oven rockin' on 500 degrees, an approximately 36 inch by 20 inch flat top (powered by three large gas strips and takes about an hour to completely cool down), a similarly sized grill, and four burners. My little thermometer on the line clocked the air temperature at around 120 degrees for most of the night. It's not a dry heat, like Arizona, or even a completely humid heat, like southern Mississippi. It's a disgusting mixture of the two (to which you might be saying, wouldn't a dry heat sometimes plus 100% humidity equal a lower percentage of humidity? - to which the answer is "not really"). It's difficult to describe - and when you've got the aforementioned heat sources plus steam from pasta cookers, reducing stocks, and assorted braises thrown into the mix, it makes for a very uncomfortable environment. Your best hope is to keep a gallon of drinking water next to your station - and avoid the temptation to ice it down (because if your body's temperature drops too quickly, you can hit some serious problems) - and to step off the line at every available moment to sit in the walk-in cooler for a minute or two - which can actually be worse, because all of the sweat immediately chills and makes you quite aware of how soaked you actually are. Oh, I haven't really mentioned the sweat yet. It literally pours down your face. Again, it's disgusting - and of course it gets into the food. (Did you know that before the advent of electric mixers, bakers avoided putting salt in their bread to make up for the inevitable salt their sweat would add to the mixture during the kneading process? True story.) And dehydration makes one a little loopy. We put a new fish on the menu this weekend - a cobia - to replace the way too popular halibut. At one point during service, I began to refer to it as the "cobra" - with the appropriate action-movie-preview-voiceover-accent - for no other reason than my heat addled brain had been cooked to medium rare by this point, and I thought it was funny. (It wasn't.) The joke evolved to "Ordering in - a short ribs and a (voice lowers two octaves) co-brrrrraaaaa," to which the confirmation of the order changed from "one cobia" to "Knowledge is power!" (an 80's GI Joe reference, for those of you who missed that one), to the final "maybe we need to drink some water and get off this line" step of convincing a server to screw with the computer so our ticket actually said "cobra." ANYWAYS. It was a goofy night.
Quote of the year from our extern, by the way. (And you guys know how I feel about externs.) He's a guy in his 40's who does flooring or something. He's slow and is the least proactive person I've ever met in my entire life. You can tell him to do one thing, and three hours later, he'll be done, and he won't look at the list to see what else needs to be done - he'll just stand there until you tell him what to do. We call him "Bad Dad" behind his back because he got tossed in jail over Memorial Day weekend because he missed quite a few child support payments. Anyways...he gets mopey and grumpy because frankly, some of the easy prep projects are long and mind-numbing - like cleaning the stems off of swiss chard leaves, then going back and cleaning the aforementioned stems, picking the stems off of a case of spinach...you get the idea. But yesterday..."Straight A's in school and I'm working pastry." (Note - he's not really working pastry - our pastry station is more of a "pastry plate-up" station - we have a pastry chef who works mornings and actually makes the desserts - all the PM person does is put them on plates - and then they spend the rest of their time doing the aforementioned boring prep.) I was ready to go off on him, but didn't really have it in me, so instead I said, "Sucks, doesn't it? I need you to hurry up on that chard if it's going to get done by the end of tonight." Just because these attitudes kill me. Thankfully, he'll be done with his externship in three weeks and we're through with him.

So, aside from the boring work stories, I've got lots to share with you today.
First of all, Happy Moon Landing Day!.

And speaking of which, check out part four of "The Googling," in which two guys find out a little more than they should have about the moon landing.

If you liked those, I'll point you to the other three - Google Maps, Google My Maps, and Google SMS.
All are safe for work.

You've probably heard the news that Starbucks will be closing 600 stores in the United States - the official list has been released. Take a look and see if yours might be on there - I don't really go anymore, but thankfully, mine are safe. And now that the list has been published, here come the inevitable "Save Our Starbucks" campaigns.

From the article:

In towns as small as Bloomfield, N.M., and metropolises as large as New York, customers and city officials are starting to write letters, place phone calls, circulate petitions and otherwise plead with the coffee giant to change its mind.

"Now that it's going away, we're devastated," said Kate Walker, a facilities manager for SunGard Financial Systems, a software company, who recently learned of a store closing in New York City.

It's an unusual twist in the saga of Starbucks, one of the fastest growing retailers of the past decade. For years, Starbucks gained attention when a town didn't welcome it. Independent coffee shops complained about the big-muscled competition, and residents bemoaned the erosion of local character.

But ever since Starbucks announced this month that it would close 600 stores by early next year, as its business struggles, the rallying cause has switched to saving these endangered locations.

From the folks who brought you the internet sensation I Can Haz Cheezburger comes the somewhat funny Totally Looks Like, comparing celebrities to their doppelgangers. Bill Gates looks like Janet Reno, etc, etc, etc. If you've got five minutes to waste, take a look.

Hmmm...what else, what else, what else...

I'm tired of writing, so I suppose that's it.

When rednecks attack.

2008-07-17T21:18:00.001-07:00

Real post tomorrow, but for now - when a pro wrestler asks a drunken, inbred audience to throw him a chair - what do you think's going to happen?

Wrestlers Want A Chair...They Get It - Watch more free videos

Drama in Green Bay

2008-07-15T11:50:00.000-07:00

I just had to mention this. I was going to check my Yahoo mail - but got distracted by more drama coming from the Packers/Brett Favre "controversy." For those of you not in the know, Favre retired in March, but has been making noise lately about coming back to play for the Packers. This has happened a thousand times over the past five years or so - he agonizes about it and finally decides to play "one more year." During this whole time, Favre's backup, Aaron Rodgers, has been warming the bench, wasting what might have been the best years of his career waiting for the guy to finally retire. Well, it "happened," and the Packers have begun to re-tool their offense to better accomodate Rodgers' style. Now, Favre wants to play again, and the Packers say "only as Rodgers' backup. Oh yeah, and we're not going to release your contract so you can play with another team, either." Brett mad, Brett smash.
Having grown up in Wisconsin, and having paid my dues as the only Bears fan in Packers-crazy country, I've seen the lengths Packers fans will go to for their team. At least, I thought I knew the extent of it. If you click on the above link, there's another link to a video, showing Packers fans rallying at Lambeau Field, which apparently, they plan to do every Sunday until Favre is re-instated as the starting quarterback. These people, they have too much time on their hands.

Oh yes, and the article was accompanied by the most saddy-pants picture I've ever seen. It's like he's imitating a three year old who isn't really sad, but is just trying to make it look like he is:

Back to your regularly scheduled programming.

2008-07-15T07:37:00.000-07:00

It's a quick pre-work post today, because I'm tired and need to drink my coffee.
Wow, my feet hurt. It's been a busy past few days, but everything's gone well.
Our garlic dinner was on Sunday - menu is as follows:

- Roasted Garlic Croquettas
- Garlic Sformato with Herb Salad and Garlic Chips
- Sopa de Ajo with Chorizo, Poached Egg, Garlic Toast
- Garlic and Potato Ravioli, Spring Onion Butter
- Braised Grouper with Garlic Broth, Aioli, and Marrow Beans
- Garlic Pastry Cream with Berries

Not too shabby.
I could comment on the Obama/New Yorker cover story, as well as the Jesse Jackson "I'm gonna cut his nuts off" story, but I'm not going to expound to great length on either one of those. I'll just mention that the cover is tasteless and stupid, and the comment was just plain stupid. Can we move on now?

On to the stupid of the day. I'm not even sure why this is news, but there's some gas station in New Hampshire charging by the half gallon. It's because the cost of replacing the pumps to reflect the ever-increasing gasoline prices is somewhere in the neighborhood of $15,000 - but the "story" (and I use that word very loosely) here is that people are getting confused.

"[Petroleum Equipment] Institute vice president Robert Renkes said small stations should buy kits to recalibrate their pumps if they can't afford to replace them.

"If for no other reason, half pricing is confusing and can be inconvenient for the customer. When I buy gasoline I stop the pump at the dollar amount I want to spend. So let's say I have $60 to spend and the meter, if it's on half pricing — reads $31.50 and I forgot to stop it at $30, what do I do?" he said."

I dunno, Rob, learn MATH? What would you have done if you have $60 to spend on gas on an ordinary system, and you forget to stop it at $60? I've said it before, and I'll say it again - people are dumb.

Kind of like this guy here, who was just trying to go to the ATM:

See more funny videos and funny pictures on CollegeHumor

Or KTLA reporter Eric Spillman, who decided that "responsible journalism" meant he should go down to the Apple Store on the day of the iPhone launch to ask customers waiting in line if they've "ever seen a woman naked." And subsequently, he gets his pompous line of questioning handed right back to him on live television:

And with that, I'm off to work.

2008-07-11T23:17:00.000-07:00

I have a new computer! I'm very excited - even though getting it was such a pain. This is what I hate about Madison - if I need to get anywhere, say, the Apple store at West Towne Mall, I've got to wait forever for a bus, since during off peak hours, they run about once an hour. (Yes, I realize that was probably the worst sentence ever, but...I'll let it go.) So I'm hanging out in the rain waiting for the bus, talking to some guy who says he just got out of jail and "is happy remembering what females look like" (creeeeeepy), finally got on the bus, got to the mall, and realized - whoops - the new iPhone launch was yesterday. I was approached by a random Apple employee, who basically told me that all of their specialists were busy helping with the iPhone launch, if I could come back tomorrow...
I said, "You've got to be kidding me. I just spent an hour and a half dealing with the bus system, I'm trying to give you $1500 for a product you have in stock, and you're telling me you're not going to help me?"
"Ummm...unfortunately, with the iPhone launch...uh, I can set up an appointment for you to come back tomorrow..."
"No," I said, "I need to buy a computer today and I can't come back tomorrow. I don't need a 'specialist.' I want to buy that computer, right there, I don't need a specialist, all I need is a cashier. Otherwise I guess I could head to Best Buy and pick up a Dell."
So I got my computer. I just can't believe that, despite whatever else is going on, that they would turn away a customer who's willing to spend the equivalent of six iPhones. Also picked up a printer (free with rebate - yippee), which was a pain getting back to the bus and home...but it's something I've needed because I'm tired of going to the library.
So I got home, set the thing up, stole all of Tim's mp3's...it's nice to not have to borrow Tim's whenever I need to look something up. Expect my blog posts to jump exponentially - I bet you're looking forward to that! (ha)
Hmmm...what else? I finished Kill Bill - great second part, so-so ending. I took a three hour nap (really not smart). And I screwed around a bit more on the computer.
On to the Internet!

Let's get the politics out of the way first. The AP (via Yahoo) reported last week that pet owners prefer McCain to Obama by a 42 to 37 percent margin. Thankfully, I don't take advice from people who name their cats "Lady Jane Taylor" and "Mr. Tommy Katz" (I'm not kidding - read the article).

On the Huffington Post, Max Bergmann says the McCain campaign should've been virtually over after the events of this week - but mass media simply isn't covering it. Among the issues are: his top economic adviser calling Americans "a bunch of whiners" for worrying about the increasingly uncertain economy, and proof that he knows absolutely nothing about Afghanistan and Pakistan. Oh yeah, and that offhand joke about killing Iranians.

I've been meaning to share this one for a while - I KNOW the story's two weeks old, but it's too funny just to skip over. The American Family Association's "OneNewsNow" website posts stories from the Associated Press - in a way. The AFA is so afraid of...something...that they put their implicit trust in an auto-replace system to weed out anything "offensive" in their articles - and if the last sixty years of sci-fi movies have taught us anything, isn't it "DON'T TRUST COMPUTERS"?
So the AFA had a bit of egg on their face after sprinter Tyson Gay took the 100 meter race at the US Olympic track and field trials. Thanks to that pesky auto-replace, the filtered story on the AFA website read:

Tyson Homosexual easily won his semifinal for the 100 meters at the U.S. Olympic track and field trials and seemed to save something for the final later Sunday.

His wind-aided 9.85 seconds was a fairly cut-and-dry performance compared to what happened a day earlier. On Saturday, Homosexual misjudged the finish in his opening heat and had to scramble to finish fourth, then in his quarterfinal a couple of hours later, ran 9.77 to break the American record that had stood since 1999. […]

Homosexual didn’t get off to a particularly strong start in the first semifinal, but by the halfway mark he had established a comfortable lead. He slowed somewhat over the final 10 meters-nothing like the way-too-soon complete shutdown that almost cost him Saturday. Asked how he felt, Homosexual said: “A little fatigued.”

That's what you get.

Speaking of internet stupidity (redundant?), some "writer" gets paid to blog about celebrities for the LA Times. Every paper has an entertainment and gossip section, but doesn't it always seem that the writers of these sections are always complete idiots? And I'm getting to the point.
Elizabeth Snead of the LA Times blogged last week about the oldest and most stale topic in the book, celebrity baby names.

"Fruit. Days of the week. Biblical characters.
What the hey is going on with all these strange celebrity baby names?

The latest unusual celeb baby monikers are Matthew McConaughey's son Levi, and Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban's daughter, Sunday Rose.

Levi is, according to the gospel of McConaughey, a biblical name and another name for the apostle, Matthew. Whew. Because for a minute there, I thought he'd named his son after his favorite pair of jeans."

By the way, the author's first name, again, is Elizabeth. If there was ever a more classically Biblical name, I think that's it.

Finally, have you seen the Will It Blend guy? It's an entertaining advertisement for Blendtec blenders and food processors. In this series of videos (up to 50+ at this point), a science-y looking guy, dressed in a lab coat and protective goggles, puts random things in a blender to, I guess, prove its power. This week's test subject, was, appropriately enough, the new iPhone:

He's also done a MarioKart Wii Wheel and a copy of GTA IV.

I've got to get to work, so, until next time...

2008-07-08T20:07:00.000-07:00

I haven't had this feeling since I was a kid.
I write, of course, of the lack of central air conditioning during a humid, sticky July, which has turned the cheap oscillating fan I found in the basement into my best friend and my favorite outfit into a pair of boxers and a cheap t-shirt, accompanied by a pitcher of ice water. Come onnnn, September!
Life in Madison has been pretty decent lately. I'd discussed coming back to Chicago, but I think I'm going to stick around for a little while longer. I signed a lease yesterday to move to the efficiency apartment upstairs, so (knock on wood) I'm looking forward to the easiest move I'll ever have in my entire life. And if I want to head somewhere else, apartments around here are ridiculously easy to sublet. I'm staying mostly because I'm finally feeling comfortable at work, and I'm not ready to leave quite yet.
Hmmm...oh! I saw the first part of Kill Bill last night. It was pretty good. I'm looking forward to the second one coming in the mail in a couple of days. Not quite the "THIS IS SO AWESOME" love fest I heard about it when it first came out a few years ago, but I'm digging it so far.
I just FINALLY paid off the debt from my old computer in full. Only took me six years (ha). When I get the new one sometime this week, I'm making absolutely sure it's paid off in a year.
I bet you didn't know the United States economy is going down the tubes! I've been reading articles like these in the news every day for the past three months. And I've gotta say, the people profiled by these newspapers need a serious dose of reality if they think their lives are "hard" because of the recent economic downturn.
Get those Kleenexes ready...
The Cincinnati Enquirer today published a sob story about the cutbacks families earning more than $100,000 a year are being forced to make. The families featured in the article have so far had to sell their second homes, their Lincoln Navigators, and cut back on their $5 lattes. Boo. Hoo.
And the New York Times wrote about $100 fillups!

Bryan Carisone, a heating and air-conditioning contractor in Raritan, N.J., "absolutely loves" his new GMC Denali XL, an extra-large sport utility vehicle with televisions built into the leather seats. But in June, one week after he bought it, he pulled into a station on a near-empty tank and watched the total climb higher and higher - to $109.

"It just about killed me," Mr. Carisone said.

I hate to be the one to say it, but, um...I told you so. Anyone who drives an SUV and wasn't prepared to pay the price, especially if (re-read that quote) his GMC Denali XL is brand new, and didn't have a clue or a care as to how much the tank would cost to fill up, is the kind of idiot who I refuse to feel sorry for. Dude. You bought a gas-guzzler a week ago. And now you're sad because it guzzles gas. The lack of logic of some people just absolutely astounds me.
Did you notice that Denali is an anagram of Denial? Just like the guy later in the article who's buying a gas guzzler because he thinks prices have hit their peak? Didn't we say that back in the good ol' days, when we hit $3 a gallon? The days of cheap oil are OVER. I hope I'm wrong, but I'm at least attempting to get used to it.

You know you want to call 'em:

Oh, and Britain's National Children's Bureau wants you to keep an eye out for toddlers who don't like spicy food. See, it means they might be racist. So for all of you who have toddlers, if they don't beg for curry every night...send them to Tolerance Camp!

Okay, that's it out of me.

Still intact.

2008-07-06T10:23:00.000-07:00

Hooray for having Sunday off! It's going to be my last one in a few weeks, as next week is our annual Garlic Dinner, and the week after is another one of Madison's Restaurant Weeks. So I'm attempting to enjoy it while I can.
So, I had a good Fourth of July. It was pretty low key, but fun nonetheless. Sam, Craig, and I headed to some stand in a parking lot to stock up - we showed admirable restraint, spending only $100 between the three of us on fireworks:

I love fireworks - partly because I think of them as badly written action movies. Sure, they try to put a plot or theme in there, but at the end, it's all about the explosions, isn't it?
For example, RoboDog:

Or Noah's Ark:

So we came back to my place and sat in the backyard for a while, noted the irony in drinking Newcastle (a British beer, for those of you who are a bit slow on the uptake) while celebrating our nation's independence, lit off a few firecrackers and bottle rockets from the backyard, befriended a homeless guy named Larry who came around the corner and joined us...headed to a friend of Sam's house where we lit off the roman candles, the remaining bottle rockets, and the aforementioned RoboDog, headed down to Lake Mendota and sent Noah's Ark to Valhalla (mixed metaphor?)...it was a decent Fourth of July. And to continue the celebration, a buddy of mine had a bunch of mortars (the class A fireworks that cities buy for their official celebrations) last night at Harvest, so we lit those off from the parking lot after dinner service. Good times, indeed, and I'm lucky I still have all of my digits.

In politics this week...George W Bush has taken the
"terrorist fist jab" over to the Republican side of the circus. Of course, now that Bush has done it, it's quickly being rebranded as "Super Heroic American Freedom Democratic Bump" (thank you, Fark).

According to reports, John McCain became "visibly angry" the other day when asked if his military experience prepared him to be president. This whole "military service" debate is really being blown out of proportion - especially when McCain's camp begins to blame the Obama side for the alleged "smears" on his military record.

Apparently McCain doesn't realize that no one in their right mind is denigrating his service (well, maybe he does realize it, he's just attempting to destroy the truth and hope that no one actually looks for the facts - classic Republican move, there!). The actual story is that McCain has nothing else to run on besides his military record - and while the vast majority of Americans respect and honor our veterans, we still say that simply having served in the military isn't enough to qualify one for president. And I'm still waiting for someone to ask Senator McCain how, after his supposedly agonizing imprisonment and torture in Vietnam, how he can support the United States' use of torture. Seems a little hypocritical to me.

Lastly, the GOP is claiming that Obama has now reversed his position on Iraq. Read the linked article - it's another vicious distortion of the facts. McCain spends so much time trying to label Obama as a "flip-flopper" - I almost feel like we're back in 2004! But if we're going to play that game, Senator McCain, let's play. Let's take a look at McCain's record (from Countdown:

John McCain has flip-flopped on so many subjects that he would feel quite at home in my toddler’s tumbling class. Keith Olbermann recounts McCain’s flip-floppery on Political reform, Immigration, Gay marriage, Abortion, Nuclear waste at Yucca Mountain, Military actions against rogue states, Negotiating with Kim Jong Il, Negotiating with Castro, Negotiating with terrorists (acceptable in 2002 when Powell went to Syria. In 2006, McCain said sooner or later we’ll talk to Hamas, not appropriate now), Unilateral action against suspected terrorists in Pakistan (Confused leadership with Obama, not with Bush) Warrantless wiretapping, Torturing Detainees, Indefinitely holding detainees, Iraq War, Tax cuts for the rich, Estate tax, Privatizing Social Security, Balanced budget, Windfall profits tax, Offshore drilling, Bush fundraisers, Jerry Falwell, Pastor John Hagee, MLK Jr. holiday, South Africa divestment, the confederate flag, and alternatives to evolution being taught at school.

Feeling dizzy yet?

This weekend, Senator John McCain said, quote, “This election is about trust and trusting people’s word. And unfortunately, apparently on several items Senator Obama’s word cannot be trusted.”

In our third story tonight, judging candidates based on their consistency.

You see where I’m going with this.

The signing of the GI Bill, not the only time Senator McCain was against something, before he was for it — or vice versa — or both.

You may want to get pencil and paper and write all these down.

On political reform, McCain last January opposed a grassroots-lobbying bill he once supported. In 2006 the New York Sun reported that his presidential ambitions led McCain to reverse his support of a campaign-finance bill… called McCain-Feingold.

Last October, he said he would vote against the Development, Relief and Education for Alien Minors Act… that he co-sponsored. Then he said he would vote against an immigration bill that he introduced.

In 2006, he said on Hardball, quote, “I think that gay marriage should be allowed.” Then, after the commercial break, he added, “I do not believe that gay marriages should be legal.”

On abortion… 1999, publicly supporting Roe v. Wade… privately opposing it, in a letter to the National Right to Life Committee. The 2000 debates… he would change the GOP platform to permit exceptions for rape, incest, the life of the mother. May, 2008… no, he won’t, ABCNews.com reports.

Storing nuclear waste at Yucca Mountain? Flip.

Military action against rogue states? Flip.

Negotiating with Kim Jong Il… not acceptable, until President Bush did it.

With Fidel Castro, acceptable in 2000… not 2008.

With terrorists? Appropriate when Colin Powell went to Syria… and in 2006, when McCain said “sooner or later” we’ll talk to Hamas. Not appropriate now.

Unilateral action against suspected terrorists in Pakistan? “Confused leadership” when Obama suggested it… not when Bush did it.

Warrantless wiretaps? Six months ago, presidents had to obey the law. Not any more.

Torture detainees? No way… except for the CIA.

Hold them indefinitely? Wrong in 2003. Right in 2008.

The Iraq War? “The right course,” 2004. “Stay the course,” 2005. Today, McCain’s always been a Rumsfeld critic.

Tax cuts for the rich? In 2001 he could not “in good conscience” support them. Now he can.

The estate tax? 2006: “I agree with President Roosevelt”–who created it. 2008: “most unfair.”

This month, not for privatizing Social Security, never has been. 2004, doesn’t see how benefits will last without it.

In February, promised a balanced budget in four years. By April… make it eight years.

In May, “glad to look…at the windfall profits tax.” By June, “that was Jimmy Carter’s big idea.”
2000, no new off-shore drilling. Last month, “would take years to develop.” This month, “very helpful in the short term.”

The Bush fund-raisers McCain called “coyotes,” breaking the law in 2000… by 2006 were co-chairing McCain fundraisers.

Buddy Jerry Falwell… an “agent of intolerance” in 2000.

The Reverend Hagee… In, then out, in this year alone.

In 1983, opposed Martin Luther King Day. Today, not so much.

1986, opposed South African divestment. This month praised it.

And in 2000, defended South Carolina’s Confederate Flag… “a symbol of heritage.” Two years later, McCain calling it, quote, “an act of political cowardice” not to say the flag should come down. Quote: “Everybody said, ‘Oh, look out, you can’t win in South Carolina if you say that.’”

McCain’s campaign says his positions evolve.

Ironically, in 2005, McCain said alternatives to evolution should be taught in school… Evolving the opposite position he took in 2000.

Sorry about the extended copy-and-paste. Follow the link if you want to see the video, and see examples of McCain's "changing positions" on each one of these issues listed.

So, that's it out of me. Happy Sunday!

2008-06-30T18:19:00.000-07:00

Not such a great day today - hopefully things will get back to normal soon enough. Today has been about me trying to figure out my somewhat immediate future, and it's not going so well yet (the figuring out, that is - my life in general is going pretty good).

I know a blog shout-out doesn't mean much, but - you know who you are - you're in my thoughts and prayers.

Where am I?

2008-06-30T06:16:00.000-07:00

A quick Monday morning post before I knock out the crossword.
If one thing's been clear from the news this weekend, it's that America is no longer America.

It might be the Washington Post's assertion that Barack Obama's dream for America is to turn us into Canada.
It might be White Sox and Cubs fans unifying to kick the crap out of an annoying fan at the Cell yesterday, in a scene oddly reminiscent of a stadium full of British soccer hooligans:

Or, to examine the question "What country am I in, again?" in another sense, Bush and Cheney apparently plan on continuing to shred the Constitution right up until noon on January 20th.
From the article:

President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney have rejected findings from U.S. intelligence agencies that Iran has halted a clandestine effort to build a nuclear bomb and "do not want to leave Iran in place with a nuclear program," Hersh said.

So it looks like the boys want to take us into WMD Part 2: No, Seriously This Time! I'm utterly terrified of the leadership in this country, and am without a doubt looking forward to a change.
Apparently I'm not the only one: the "Days Until Bush Leaves Office" blog posts every day with only a sentence. Today's post: "As of today, it is only 204 days until Bush leaves office."
In fact, I'm going to add a countdown, courtesy of the folks over at Backwards Bush - that'll be on the right side of the blog.

Okay. What else what else what else? There's a jackhammer going off across the street (started at 7:30 this morning - aren't there laws about this?) so I'm finding it more difficult than usual to focus, and the noise is making me a little nauseous. Until next time....

Wheeeeeee.

2008-06-28T08:31:00.000-07:00

My plans may be a changin' in a hurry. Of course, you'll know when I know.
I had yesterday off - it was nothing earth shattering, but a pretty good day nonetheless. I hung around the house for a while, really did nothing in particular. Oh, I got The Ten Commandments on Netflix - it's such a ridiculously awesome cheesy movie. It's well known for its anachronisms - like the safety pin on Baby Moses' diaper, and the frickin' wristwatch on Moses' arm - so that's always a fun part of watching the movie. Then Sam came over, we chatted, had a couple drinks, whatever. Fairly decent day as far as days off go.
Other than that, I really have nothing to say. We'll see as I get this train a'rollin - which is a perfect segue into my "picture post of the day":

It's a beautiful day here in Madison - a lot cooler than it has been the past couple of days. I've got all the windows open, the house to myself (as Tim's going to Milwaukee to pick up his girlfriend, who's flying in from Calgary today), and...I'm wasting the late morning/early afternoon on the computer.

There's a lot of political garbage flying back and forth between the Obama and McCain camps. This is what I despise about politics - it'd be so hilarious and entertaining if the results didn't have such serious implications on the future of the good ol' US of A.
Democratic bloggers are making a huge issue of the "McCain doesn't know how to use a computer" story. Yes, it's relevant, but only in the "The first George Bush doesn't know how much a gallon of milk costs." I'm not sure how to explain it any more than that - I'm only saying that it's not very high up there on my "reasons I won't vote for McCain" list. (Which is fairly long - his illegal manipulation of the public financing system being one of many.) But the pseudo-controversy does spawn some pretty funny pictures from the Internet:

I will jump into the whole "McCain made a joke about beating his wife!" discussion. While it might have been inappropriate (and slightly reminiscent of GWB's awkward "Filipinos remember to cut the crust off of my PB&J" (not a direct quote) comment - see the previous post if you're confused), I'm not going to jump all over him for this one. For those of you who don't feel like clicking on the article, McCain was asked why he didn't choose the Republican governor of Nevada, Jim Gibbons, to chair his Nevada campaign:

"Maybe it's the governor's approval rating and you are running from him like you are from the president?"

McCain: "(Chuckling) And I stopped beating my wife just a couple of weeks ago . . . "

Let's stop getting all hyper-sensitive and understand that this is an old joke. McCain was responding to what we call a LOADED QUESTION - the joke being "Have you stopped beating your wife?" is impossible to answer, because it assumes that at a point in time, the questionee (not a word, whatever) did beat his wife. Therefore, either answer ("yes" or "no") is inappropriate for the situation. We should maybe be concerned that McCain doesn't seem to understand that this type of answer is inappropriate, but we should also fight against this type of bias from the media, as the question itself is designed to make the recipient look bad. In this sense, the media has stepped out of its role of reporting the news, and turns themself into an entity which creates the news.

Both sides have their problems and play their blame-games - Republicans love the phrase "..b-b-b-but CLINTON!" while a lot of Democrats will be quite disappointed when they realize that our culture has contributed to a lot of our problems - not necessarily all the fault of George W. Bush - and on the same side of the token, there are a lot of things that a President Obama wouldn't be able to fix.
I know I'm rambling (which I'm actually quite good at), so I'll move on. I seem to have an issue with forming a coherent thought today. I'll just throw some pictures at you, hope it gives you a giggle (or a good, long cry, like the following one), and we'll see from there.

This is a real coupon. You've got to be kidding me.

And, with no real point or purpose, just things I found hilarious:

Whew. Enough of that.

Book review of the day - High School Confidential: Secrets of an Undercover Student, by Jeremy Iversen. I'd link the Amazon page, but no one's posted reviews or anything, so it wouldn't really be worth anyone's time, would it? Although it might not be worth Amazon's time, it should certainly be worth yours, if you're the type of reader who can get through the realities of what high school is today. In short, the 27 year old Iversen posed as a senior at a high school in California, and wrote a book. Hooray. Seriously, it was a good read (I went through it in a day and a half), while at the same time, a bit scary if you're interested in such minor details as, say, the future of our country. But don't take my word for it!

Seriously, I can't think today - I don't even know why I'm posting, other than not to disappoint my adoring fan base.
/yawwwn....what else?

Oh, here's something cool - What would London look like in the year 2090, a time when (apparently) rising sea levels have flooded the city?

And an interesting step in video game art - characters and such are put into their real life settings. Again, my brain is halfway shut down, so I know I'm not describing it as best as I can, just click and look.

It reminds me of another similar set - the Mike Tyson's Punch-Out Art page.

I've added a new page element to the blog, just because I think it's kindof cool. The blog roll on the right side gives snippets of the latests posts from the blogs I'm reading.
Well, that's about it out of me. Time to go...eh...whatever.

Charlie is making me dumber, and other off topic ramblings.

2008-06-25T09:36:00.000-07:00

I have absolutely nothing to write about. Yet, here I am. Proceed at your own risk.

So, Yahoo has taken over Babelfish translation (this may or may not have happened recently, but I just noticed it, so it's new to me!), and they're apparently making it better. I just kicked through the first sentence of this post (English to German, and back again):

I have absolutely nothing to write about. Yet, here I am. Proceed at your own risk.

Ich habe absolut nichts, ungefähr zu schreiben. Jedoch, hier bin ich. Fahren Sie an Ihrem eigenen Risiko fort.

I have absolutely nothing to write approximately. However, here am I. Continue at your own risk.

Yeah...not quite there, guys. It'll never be good until the computer can analyze context for words with multiple meanings (see: about, in this case meaning "of; concerning; in regard to," while Babelfish mistakenly uses the "near; close to; approximately" definition). But they do seem to have fixed the grammar a bit, understanding that not every language is structured just like English, so using the proper "Jedoch, hier bin ich," (which is the appropriate German structure, meaning literally "Yet, here am I") but curiously enough, not switching back to the common English structure on the retranslation (which would be "here I am"). Anyways. I'm a loser and think about things like this. Moving on!

Things are getting crazy and goofy at work. I'm in an awkward position right now - let's leave it at that. The situation is stressing me out a little more than it should.

Okay, so this came out like...more than a year ago, but it's still making its rounds on teh Intertubes. It's really a testament to the power of the internet, if you want to get all philosophical and crazy about it. As I post this, this video, of two kids somewhere in the UK, has been viewed 34,629,375 times.

Not a typo.

34,629,375.

Over the last thirteen months.
Totally safe for work, by the way.
Without any further ado, here it is, "Charlie bit my finger."

As the Internet is likely (no, inevitably GOING) to do, the video has spawned a wave of imitators and remixers (all also safe for work):

(You can't see it, but I'm shaking my head and crying for the fate of humanity, while simultaneously passing it along to all three people who'll end up reading this. Color me human.)

On another note, (maybe just realizing this after watching the "Charlie" video sixteen times), I think I'm getting dumber - kindof like that Simpsons episode. I blame the internet.
From the article:

Bruce Friedman, who blogs regularly about the use of computers in medicine, also has described how the Internet has altered his mental habits. “I now have almost totally lost the ability to read and absorb a longish article on the web or in print,” he wrote earlier this year. A pathologist who has long been on the faculty of the University of Michigan Medical School, Friedman elaborated on his comment in a telephone conversation with me. His thinking, he said, has taken on a “staccato” quality, reflecting the way he quickly scans short passages of text from many sources online. “I can’t read War and Peace anymore,” he admitted. “I’ve lost the ability to do that. Even a blog post of more than three or four paragraphs is too much to absorb. I skim it.”

Right there with ya, Bruce. I'd like to add (well, if it wasn't already in the article - I skimmed it - ha) that the nature of the Internet makes us easily distractable. See previous subject - back to "Charlie" - while looking that video up, YouTube pointed me to a variety of remixes and parodies, which ended up leading me to a video of some kid making faces, which led me on and endless loop back to the "I like turtles" kid, which had me on my del.icio.us page searching for, and subsequently watching, the "All y'all who seen the leprechaun say YEEE-AHH!" video, cracking myself up a little, which for some reason brought me to Saturday Night Live's brilliant parody of Dora the Explorer:

And then I forgot what I was talking about. See what I mean?

If you think the media-heavy blog post is stopping here, be forewarned that this train is just gettin' rollin.'
This is probably the best beer commercial ever made:

For some reason (probably because it's HILARIOUS), it was decided that Stockholm's subway map should be translated from Swedish to English. If you need to get from Awful Village Hospital to Rock Star, the map is here!

French people are insane:

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

And I think the Fresno Grizzlies (who are the AAA affiliate of the San Franciso Giants) have found their new left fielder:

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

No politics today, because I'm feeling dumb and uninspired. Well, there's, um, one thing that bears mentioning, I suppose. For the past eight years, soon-to-be-former-President Bush has been revealing himself as the idiot who runs his mouth and ends up finding his foot in it, possibly because he's uncomfortable and needs to say something, anything, to fill the silence. Inevitably, he ends up saying something mildly offensive, but doesn't really realize it, whether or not that actually makes it worse, I'm not going to debate. Anyways, here's the story.
Filipino president Gloria Macapagal Arroyo was at the White House yesterday, discussing possible aid for her country as it recovers from last week's typhoon. Bush, while probably unsuccessfully attempting to switch the direction of the conversation to Muppet Babies and his golf swing, says (from the White House transcript):

PRESIDENT BUSH: Madam President, it is a pleasure to welcome you back to the Oval Office. We have just had a very constructive dialogue. First, I want to tell you how proud I am to be the President of a nation that -- in which there's a lot of Philippine-Americans. They love America and they love their heritage. And I reminded the President that I am reminded of the great talent of the -- of our Philippine-Americans when I eat dinner at the White House. (Laughter.)

PRESIDENT ARROYO: Yes.

PRESIDENT BUSH: And the chef is a great person and a really good cook, by the way, Madam President.

PRESIDENT ARROYO: Thank you.

Might not be offensive, but it's...um...one of those things that could be construed as such. Awkward, at best. I think President Arroyo really had no idea how to respond to that. Kind of like "I like turtles."

So, that's more than enough out of me. I've got to head to work anyways. See y'all next time.

The whatever in review.

2008-06-21T06:59:00.001-07:00

Whew.
Yeah, I've been ignoring the blog. What can I say, it's been a busy, busy week - especially towards the middle - I worked from 10 to 10 on Tuesday night, drove down to Chicago and stayed there, was up at 5:30 AM Wednesday, cooked for a while, left about 12:30, got stuck in traffic, back in Madison at 5 PM and went right to work (worst birthday EVER), went home, slept like I've never slept before, and worked 10 to 10 on Thursday. Luckily I had yesterday off - went to the Old Fashioned with a few friends, and sat in a booth drinking brandy slushes (lemonade and orange juice frozen with brandy, scooped into a rocks glass, topped off with Sprite and sour) and playing Scrabble (I placed third out of four - I'm an idiot). The Cubs/White Sox game was on, so I kept half an eye on that - not a good game (Cubs won 4-3 with a Ramirez walk-off home run, but all the runs by both teams except for the Cubs' first came off of the homer, and...eh, it was ugly). Went home and just crashed - read on the couch for a while, goofed off on the internet...you know how that goes.
And now it's 9:00 on Saturday morning, and I'm back to the couch, doing this, drinking coffee and listening to the hordes of people walking past my window to the farmer's market, punctuated by the idiot on his bongo drums playing on the street corner two blocks away. I really should go to the farmer's market. Everyone talks about how awesome it is, and yeah, but if you don't get out before 9 AM, it turns into the eternal shuffle - traffic moves in one direction and it'll literally take you an hour to walk around the Capitol Square. So no thank you to that.
So I'll be working tonight - really, really hoping it'll be busy - and tomorrow's the company outing - we're headed to see the Madison Mallards play the Wisconsin Woodchucks (seriously) - in a not-quite-single A-baseball game. Should be fun, though.
Speaking of minor league baseball, funny game in New York on Thursday night - ever see an ambidextrous pitcher face a switch hitting batter? (Link to video is on the page.)

(Can you believe I've made it through an entire post without mentioning politics ONCE? Well, here's something for you. Awwww...memories... - Keith Olbermann recaps the primary season.)

Oh, one more thing - you'll notice on the right side, I've added an image from ElectoralVote.com - showing the current status of the Presidential, House, and Senate races. Take a look at that if that kind of thing interests you. Also, there are new links in the "links" section - the aforementioned ElectoralVote.com, FiveThirtyEight.com, and 270towin.com are all quite interesting sites related to the upcoming election.

2008-06-16T20:22:00.000-07:00

Busy busy busy busy. Will get to a real post in a couple days, when I know a bit more about what's going on. Throw good vibes my way this week, okay?

Whoooops!

2008-06-11T07:46:00.000-07:00

It's too bad someone in the McCain camp caught wind of this and took it down - thankfully, we have screenshots and quotes!
Like Amazon.com, the store on John McCain's official site (which, by the way, sells everything from "Arab-Americans for McCain" shirts to McCain golf gear - seriously) features customer reviews of what's for sale. Let's see what happens when the internet gets ahold of it!

Wonderful gift for loved ones in sand trapsJune 10, 2008
Reviewer: Bo Baffett from Arlington, VA United States
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! Send one to every service member you know who will be stationed in Iraq over the next hundred or so years.

I like the golf pack, but why no yacht tarp?June 9, 2008
Reviewer: Joseph B. from Cotuit, MA United States
Sure this pack of John McCain labeled shwag is nice, and when I'm out on the course I use it as a subliminal message to remind my caddy that I don't support minimum wage. But what I'm really waiting for is the John McCain yacht tarp. WTF, Johnny Mac, my boat is getting wet! Thank you.

Not just for picking divots June 9, 2008
Reviewer: John Mc John from BOULDER, CO United States
There we were on the 17th green when a bedbug-ridden bearded terrorist leaped from the hole screaming godless gibberish. My pitiful peace-loving liberal partners grabbed their balls and ran, leaving me alone with only my John McCain equipment for defense. I slung my ball bag at his head and leaping atop the mangy rascal jammed my stiff club down his throat, finally finishing him off by jerking my McCain brand divot picker up his misshapen nose. Thank you, John McCain for giving me the courage to fight!

Reviewer: LazyMF from Texas
Bag is handy. Will hold 2 Vietnamese skulls.

Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
If you want to see more, here's the forum thread from Fark.com. *Warning - probably not safe for work, definitely not safe for polite conversation.

If you've only been following the mainstream news, you probably haven't heard that Dennis Kucinich introduced articles of impeachment against President Bush on Monday. The man talked for 4 hours and 40 minutes, listing 35 different crimes the president is guilty of. I'm not really going to state an opinion here - while I believe Bush is a psycho AND a criminal, I'm not sure impeachment is proper right now.

EDIT:
Well put.

So that's it out of me, I guess.

2008-06-08T14:33:00.000-07:00

If you didn't see Hillary's concession speech yesterday, here it is:

I really do respect that she's not taking this any further. The speech was a little too "me me me," but hopefully she's seriously about throwing her support behind Obama.
I wish we could fast forward to November and just get this over with, already.

I am a hypocrite.

2008-06-08T10:23:00.000-07:00

Because three posts ago, I shared a story in which the author discusses how annoying people who always complain about their exhaustion are.
I'm about to do the same. It's my blog, I can do whatever I want. So there.
Anyways, I'm tired. I was in Chicago last night taking care of some business, got done with that about 12:30, said, "eh, I can make it back to Madison alright," ended up getting a little drowsy (after being stuck in traffic), and took a nap at the Wisconsin/Illinois border rest stop. So I got home at about 5 this morning, slept for a few more hours, and now I'm mainlining coffee because going back to bed right now isn't really an option (not that I have anything to do, I just don't sleep well after 9 AM, for some reason).

Can we talk about the Barack/Michelle fist bump for a bit?

Fascinating. But awkward. The whole POINT of the fist bump is that it's supposed to be flashy. It's supposed to be obnoxious, with the ARM EXTENDED, Michelle, not that little T-Rex-arm-bump you gave. But I'll give you points for effort.

Speaking of the election, apparently this is news. So let me give it an appropriate size and type style:

BILL CLINTON USED A SWEAR WORD!

Here's the link, for those of you who think I'm not telling the whole story. This whole thing is @#!(#&!! ridiculous.

Those of you who have Gmail know about the advertising sidebar, which looks for words in your emails and lists paid links based on those words. I was writing an email to my mom, and Google recommended a site called Mommy Vomitpants, which, apparently, is "A blog by a Working Mom and Dad of One, and a Stay At Home Mom of Four with information and observations for other Moms." I'm a little disturbed by the title and don't want to dig around to find the origin of the nickname.

On another note, if you can think of a better way to get out of class, I'd love to hear it:

And finally, yes, I know this is an old one, but it's hilarious nonetheless:

What exactly were you trying to say there, kid? (Besides, of course, that you like turtles.)
The Bill O'Reilly interview was incredible, though:

Nap time.

Only in Madison.

2008-06-06T07:37:00.000-07:00

I have nothing to say, really, except to share this little moment that cracked me up last night.
I was walking home from Jimmy John's last night after work, and see four or so women, in their late 20's or so, hanging outside of the Triangle Market and talking. All of a sudden, one more in their pack bursts out of the door and exclaims:
"STEPHANIE from FULL HOUSE had a BABY!"
To which the others create a ruckus totally unbefitting the situation (including a "WHAT?!?" that was really more than a yelp than anything (imagine when you step on a small dog's tail, and you'll be close.).)
And the first girl says, "Well...she IS older now...she's like 29."
"Ohhhh, rainBOWS!, etc., etc."

I thought it was funny. Off to work.

Before this gets old and stale.

2008-06-05T07:56:00.001-07:00

Okay, I realize the Obama video link from yesterday is broken (for some reason they kept switching the video's location around) but it seems to be in a stable spot now, so if you haven't seen it yet, take a few minutes and watch it:

On the flip side, John McCain's speech was so awful, even Fox News was ripping on him:

And I can't say enough how disgusted I am with Hillary supporters who insist they'll be voting for McCain come November, who feel like "their voices weren't heard" or that "they were ignored." Got news for you, kids, your votes got counted in the fairest way they could have been, it's just that...well...Obama got MORE votes; and if you're going to be such crybabies about this and cut off your noses to spite your faces by voting in a candidate who's the polar opposite of Senator Clinton, then, well, just go ahead and DIAF. Seriously. You talk about needing a Democrat in the White House, and that Hillary has the best chance of beating McCain, but then say stupid things like this...I can't understand it. And I don't feel like proofreading, because I'm angry and have to go to work in a few, so I'm sorry for the rant - the whole situation just blows my mind.
That's not change we can believe in...

Consolidation.

2008-06-04T10:53:00.000-07:00

The past few days have been an attempt to make sense of my life as it relates to my physical possessions - which namely involves tossing a lot of the random things I've accumulated into the trash. I've filled up two whole city garbage cans/recycling bins worth of things that a) have no sentimental meaning anymore (see: I don't even know what this picture is of), b) have no practical use (see: seriously, when was the last time I listened to the radio when I wasn't in a car...and more importantly, when was the last time anyone listened to a broken radio?), and c) things that fall into both columns (the collection of senior pictures of former classmates who I haven't talked to since the day I graduated from high school). Some things went into the "save" pile - family pictures, pictures with some sort of importance or meaning, my culinary school "create a menu" project...but the city of Madison Waste Management team (sounds a little better than "garbagemen," no?) is going to have an awesome time dumping the remains of my life when they arrive tomorrow. I can't believe I've moved...(/counts fingers)...a ridiculous amount of times over the past seven years, and have been carrying around all of this extra baggage for this long of a time. Throughout the entire process, that old Calvin and Hobbes strip has been running through my head, where Calvin's parents are sitting at the table saying "Thoreau said, 'Simplify, simplify...'" - providing a motivation and twice-filtered axiom to guide my project. (Random tangent - with the explosion of mass media, is it possible we're learning more about pop culture from shows like "Family Guy" and "South Park"? I used to be able to sit down with friends and watch "Family Guy" and only caught about half the references...but most of the unknown ones were filled in by the rest of the group for me. So now I know all of the things that I missed before...without actually knowing the originals. Just saying.) So, needless to say, I've got a small weight off of my shoulders, and hopefully a slightly less stressful move for next time.

I've actually been (gasp) making some time for a social life recently, something I've become terrible at doing over the past couple of years. I think I got to a point where I had roommates, and while I loved them, my space felt somewhat infringed upon, so I really valued my alone time. But, I've gotten much better at going out and all of that. Odd coincidence for you - I met my friend Sam at the Old Fashioned last night, and we were just hanging out, talking, and ordering obnoxious drinks to annoy the bartenders (who we're friends with, so I guess it's okay? Anyways, mmmm...sidecars.), and this guy sits down and starts up a conversation with us, and it turns out he just moved here from Colorado. We chat, he buys us a couple drinks, he leave, some other guy sits down (with whom Sam strikes up a conversation - she ain't nicknamed "Megaphone" for nothin'), and he's in town from Denver, on his way through to northern Wisconsin. Crazy, huh?

Okay, I'll stop rambling and get to what's become the point of this blog. Google Maps is starting to get out of control. Not even Cubs manager Lou Piniella is safe. (You have to grab the picture and pull it down a bit.)

Some people think telling everyone how exhausted they are makes them seem important.
But flaunting your fatigue only makes you insufferable.

That's all I've got time to share today. Gotta get to work.

This.

2008-06-04T07:57:00.000-07:00

Times a thousand.

More later.

2008-06-01T15:01:00.001-07:00

CNN is suggesting that Hillary's win in Puerto Rico may be "a game-changer."
I've been laughing so hard, I'm trying to catch my breath. But also crying a little. Leave it to the mainstream media to insist on keeping the story going even when the story is OVER.

To update my life, things are starting to fall into place for more things to happen. (Purposefully vague...) Hopefully one more week, and I'll be a little more sure of my position and figuring out the direction in which things are headed.

Back to your regularly scheduled Sunday afternoon.

2008-05-30T17:22:00.001-07:00

Given that it's been almost two weeks since I've posted, I feel almost like I owe you a little more than this, but give me a break, life's been busy. I've been...doing things...relating to stuff...and people!...that I don't really feel comfortable discussing on this blog, as I don't know who's reading it, but those of you who talk with me regularly know what I'm up to. (And for those of you who don't, you'll find out in due time.)

So, with all of that being said, I'd like to share with you a couple pictures of our commander in chief which appeared in pretty much every major newspaper yesterday. In a gesture that almost makes me long for the days of "Thank you, Your Holiness, awesome speech", Bush gave some talk in front of a bunch of Marines (yeah, my research is thorough!) that culminated in...well...you'll just have to see for yourself.

Needless to say, this is exactly the kind of macho swaggering that keeps us in an idiotic war in the first place.

Moving on, Hillary's campaign seems to be self-destructing at even a faster pace than usual, what with her "Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June" comments and all - we wait till tomorrow to find out what the DNC committee plans on doing about Michigan and Florida, and hopefully, in five days, we'll be discussing the official nominee, Barack Obama. Legions of fan-boys drawing pictures like this one certainly don't help Hillary's case, despite that it wins the prize for "I drank a little too much of the Obama Kool-Aid":

Oh, and this happened a while ago (I don't claim to be current), but it still cracks me up:

Fox News is running out of ideas.

And so am I.
Tim's home so I guess we're going to watch the new National Treasure or something.

1/3

2008-05-17T09:37:00.001-07:00

One day down, two to go.
I write, of course, of graduation weekend, when four years of classes, exams, and keggers culminate into six hundred people's worth of tense family reunions packing into one restaurant on Capitol Square. For the past month, I've heard the horror stories, and now I get to live them. Cooks and servers who've been there before speak of this weekend as old Vietnam War vets (or certain presidential candidates) relive helicopter landings under the cover of sniper fire, voices full of the tension-stocked crescendo of a monster-truck-rally announcer.

Six HUNNNNNDRED GUESTS!
THRRRREEEEE DAYYYYYS!
EIGHHHTY SEATS!
SUNDAY!
SUNDAY!
SUNDAY!
(and Friday and Saturday.)
BEEEE THERE!!!!

It started last night, and needless to say, I woke up pretty sore this morning. I should get back there again in about an hour, for another ten fun-filled hours. Thankfully, there are only a couple of completely insufferable people there, and the rest are ridiculously quirky - see examples! : One of the servers is easily distractable and a med school student - last night, he picked up an armful of salads and was walking towards the dining room in the middle of the rush when I called after him - "Hey Jacques?" He turns around. "How does a kidney work?" He gets about thirty seconds into the description until I cut him off and send him on his way. Another has a prediliction towards peppering his speech with mainstream rap lyrics - commenting on his amiability with one of the dishwashers will get you a line like "Close like Starsky and Hutch, stick the clutch, you know?" Good times all around. So, enough about that for now.

Due to a lack of things to write about (well, that's not really true, but I'm not in the mood to dissect Huckabee's "That was Barack Obama diving for cover" comment), I'm going to show you around some cool things I found on the internet over the past week. Just so you're aware, I'm attempting to blog, look at some prints on Art.com, and add to my firecracker label collection all at once, so this may seem a little more random than usual (if such a thing is possible). On we go!

Chicago has finally repealed the foie gras ban. This is (obviously, if you're a cook or foodie) good news, as while people can argue what they want about ducks and geese being tortured, it turns into a slippery slope once we have to apply the same standards to every kind of food - next we'll be legislating chickens and veal. So, good call (for once), City Council.

How to make invisible shelves. If I didn't move every six months, I'd totally do this.

If you're a casual fan of Wile E. Coyote cartoons, you're familiar with his support of Acme products - somewhat odd, given that they fail every. single. time. Some poor, pathetic person has created an online catalog, so check that out if you've got a minute. (But, unfortunately, nothing's for sale.)

Want to surprise yourself? Head over to the Something Store. You send them $10, they send you...something. From the site:

It may be something you need, something you want or something you desire.
Yours may be a cool gadget, rare book, table game, handmade necklace, reverse clock, box of gourmet chocolates, set of shiny shower curtains, popular video game, big-box retailer gift card, the latest version of a software, a set of kitchen knives, a pair of designer jeans, garden tool, kitchen appliance, unique home decor item, electronic equipment, magazine subscription, office supply item, or ...
Your something will most likely be brand new, though it may also be refurbished or antique.

If you've ever watched The Price is Right, you KNOW that if you're the last one to bid, a great strategy is to go one dollar over the highest bid - anticipating that everyone else will have bid too low. Take a look at one woman's unique twist to that strategy - going one dollar under.
(I can't find an "embed" link, so click here for that video.)

Finally, have you seen Manny's running-catch-high-five-double-up video?

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

Happy Saturday, everyone!

2008-05-14T09:40:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty darn proud of myself right now, having successfully navigated my way through two separate (what's wrong with my brain? I just attempted to spell that "ceperate"...and it took a couple seconds before I realized it. Too much caffeine, and onto the story...) Capital One call centers, to cancel the CreditInform and Payment Protection plans on my card. It cost me $15 on a card I barely use anyways. So if anyone wants to steal my identity, now's your chance.
I also purchased a couple of new things for the wall from Art.com (in frames and everything! No "John Belushi with the College shirt" for this guy.). I guess they don't want people just stealing their pictures and using it as wallpaper or something, so I can't just put the picture on the page, but take a look:

Edinburgh Taxi
and
Edinburgh Close

So that's pretty cool. Next on my list is this one (yes, I'm a huge nerd), and maybe this one.

Speaking of being a huge dork, I just finished reading a book written about the history and usage of the word "um"....um, more or less. And speaking of literary elitism, French author Michel Thaler (a pseudonym) has written a 233 page novel entirely without verbs. Le Train de Nulle Part manages this feat by (in my opinion at least), having a ridiculous story line (basically, a man rides a train, which might be like saying Lord of the Flies is about an island, but my French is no bueno, so who knows) and making the main character sound mildly retarded, or at the very least, having a severe case of aphasia. Seriously:

"Fool's luck! A vacant seat, almost, in that train. A provisional stop, why not? So, my new address in this nowhere train: car 12, 3rd compartment, forward. Once again, why not?" - Sourced from Wikipedia

For two-hundred-and-thirty-three pages. Ugh. If that wasn't bad enough (also from Wikipedia):

In the preface of the novel, Thaler called the verb an "invader, dictator, usurper of our literature". Considering the novel an act towards literature comparable with the artistic impact of Dadaism and surrealism, Thaler surmised, "The verb is like a weed in a field of flowers. You have to get rid of it to allow the flowers to grow and flourish. Take away the verbs and the language speaks for itself." Thaler went so far as to organize a well-attended, tongue-in-cheek funeral for the verb, at Sorbonne in Paris.

Reminds me of the infamous e-less Gadsby.
I'm about to be sick, so it's time to wrap this up and get back to work.

Gordon Ramsay and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Publicity Stunt

2008-05-10T08:36:00.000-07:00

"Big" news from the BBC yesterday. Gordon Ramsay, the infamous four-star chef turned (bleeping) celebrity caricature, has called for a ban on restaurant food that isn't in season or locally sourced.

From the article:

"Fruit and veg should be seasonal," he said. "Chefs should be fined if they haven't got ingredients in season on their menu.
"I don't want to see asparagus on in the middle of December. I don't want to see strawberries from Kenya in the middle of March. I want to see it home grown."

"There should be stringent laws, licensing laws, to make sure produce is only used in season and season only," he said.

"If we don't restrict our movements within this industry of seasonal-produce only, then the whole thing will spiral out of control."

Following the chef's comments, Oxfam's head of research, Duncan Green, said he was sure "the million farmers in east Africa who rely on exporting their goods to scrape a living would see Gordon Ramsay's assertions as a recipe for disaster".

Mr Green added: "He [Ramsay], like all of us, wants to tackle climate change, but it is vital that we ensure that poor people who are already hit hardest by climate change are not made to suffer even further."

Meanwhile, Terry Jones from the National Farmers Union (NFU) said that, while he agrees with the chef's complaint, legislation would be going too far.

He said: "We've almost got too much legislation in food and farming as things stand.

"Really what we need to see is that passion and that commitment to seasonality being pushed into consumer education and into this commitment on menu transparency."

And the Soil Association's Food for Life Partnership director Emma Noble said the celebrity chef was right to suggest that "seasonal menus are a key step in cutting the environmental impact of our food".

Yes, you've got a point, Chef. But is legislation really necessary? Sure, it's a great sound bite, and might even sound like a good idea to people who don't actually think about the implications of this. It might work for a Michelin-starred restaurant, but what about the Italian bistro on the corner whose customers demand a caprese salad in June? What exactly is a restaurant, anyways? Are we going to tell McDonald's to use locally-grown potatoes in their french fries? On that note, what exactly does "locally grown" mean? Does Ramsay suggest we follow the 100-mile diet, or does he plan on asking some random bureaucrat to draw arbitrary lines on a map of England denoting specific food zones? Maybe Ramsay should set an example and practice what he preaches. If he allows a single (bleeping) lemon (imported from Spain) in his restaurant or in Hell's Kitchen, he's a hypocrite. End of story.

Could this all be a publicity stunt for Hell's Kitchen? Or is he, in some twisted, convoluted way, hoping to garner interest in the Hell's Kitchen video game?

Okay, anyways. I'm at the parents' house in Greendale right now, just hanging out and checking in on things while they're in Russia. Two days before they left earlier this week, the city sewer system decided to back up into their basement (not as disgusting as it sounds, but still a mess), so I was here last weekend helping to get the basement and my dad's office cleaned up. Everything was hauled out of the office, then the carpet was torn up and the basement sanitized, and I just got done putting everything back in the office - a couple of desks, a bunch of boxes of books, etc, etc. Fun stuff.

I'm rambling, so I guess I'm done.

2008-05-07T11:33:00.000-07:00

This is going to be a quick one, as I have to leave for work in ten minutes. Consider it a reprieve.
So, Obama took North Carolina by a pretty decent margin last night, and it took until the middle of the night to call Hillary as the winner of Indiana. CBS, apparently unaware of problems we had about eight years ago with calling elections too early, gave it to her much earlier in the night - but all of those political analysts couldn't figure out that northwestern Indiana had yet to be counted, which was predicted to go heavily towards Obama. Despite the fact that it did, Hillary still took Indiana by 17,000 votes or so - which sounds like a lot, but only amounted to a razor thin 51 to 49 percent "victory." As of now, she's still staying in the race, as confused as ever about her real prospects of clinching the nomination. I'm too lazy and pressed for time to grab the link, but during her press conference last night, she spoke of Pennsylvania going to her, North Carolina going to Obama, and Indiana being the tiebreaker. I'm not sure she can get much more delusional.
So how did you spend your "economic stimulus" check? I was going to buy a plane ticket or do something totally irresponsible with the $600 Uncle Sam dropped in my account last night, but I decided to be an adult and put it towards my debts. I've got about $200 to go until I can buy a new computer. So I'm looking forward to that...
The How I Spent My Stimulus Blog asks that same question, so go and check out how your decisions stack up with the rest of your fellow Americans.
Time to head to work!

Oh please oh please be finished...

2008-05-06T20:07:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm a terrible, terrible blogger. It's been a really busy week and you know how it is.
I'm sitting in my living room following the Democratic primary results out of Indiana. CBS has already called it for Senator Clinton, but, as I type this, she's only up 52 to 48 (overall), and northwestern Indiana still has to be counted, which is expected to go strongly Obama. So we'll see if CBS jumped the gun on that one. It'd be nice if this whole thing could be over as soon as possible, as this whole contest is getting positively Tolstoy-esque (-ian?).
It's hill-arious (see what I did there? Haw haw) that there's this whole debate about "who's more blue collar." Frankly, I think neither one deserve the title, but as Hillary's been harping on it most of all, I'm going to take this opportunity to share a remarkable video showcasing her obvious unfamiliarity with that Holy Grail of the midwestern working man, the convenience store coffee machine:

I was in Milwaukee on Sunday helping my parents get the basement cleared out. The city sewer system backed up right into their basement - thankfully, it was clear water, not...well, you get the idea. But it's still rather a pain as we had to take everything out of my dad's office in anticipation for the carpet being ripped out and the whole thing cleaned (as supposedly the water is still contaminated). So that's fun.

As if we're shocked by anything anymore, the news is all over the release of Grand Theft Auto IV (not to be mistaken with Grand Theft Auto 4). And the reaction's been predictable. For those of you who have been hiding under a rock, the Grand Theft Auto series features a guy who runs around town killing gang members, picking up prostitutes, and stealing cars (hence the title). Apparently, in this version, the protagonist has a conscience, and what was no big deal before affects his psyche (although how this works in a game, I'm not entirely sure). It's a ridiculous argument on both sides - Mothers Against Drunk Driving is angry because the main character can drive drunk, while fans of the game argue that he's not very good at it, and has the option to call a cab instead. There's the predictable "WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?" outcry. But here's an idea for you all. Maybe concerned parents should (gasp) monitor their kids' game playing habits. We shouldn't expect mass media to babysit. Parents, why don't you think of your children and be real parents. See? Problem (somewhat) solved, much better than censoring the entire media industry because you can't be bothered to check up on what your precious little snowflakes are up to.
Conan O'Brien envisions a "kinder, gentler Grand Theft Auto":

And, I'm out.

Old and busted news.

2008-04-23T08:49:00.000-07:00

So I'm behind the times a little, I know - that's what you get when I only blog once a week.
Let's rewind to last week and discuss the ABC debate debacle (alliteration points x4). In a way, the whole mess exemplified what exactly is wrong with politics in America today. For those of you who missed it, the majority of the "debate" (which I'm surrounding with quotation marks because it barely fit the definition) was, in the words of Philly Daily News columnist Will Bunch:

"focus[ed] on issues that were at best trivial wastes of valuable airtime and at worst restatements of right-wing falsehoods, punctuated by inane "issue" questions that in no way resembled the real world concerns of American voters....
You implied throughout the broadcast that you wanted to reflect the concerns of voters in Pennsylvania. Well, I'm a Pennsylvanian voter, and so are my neighbors and most of my friends and co-workers. You asked virtually nothing that reflected our everyday issues -- trying to fill our gas tanks and save for college at the same time, our crumbling bridges and inadequate mass transit, or the root causes of crime here in Philadelphia. In fact, there almost isn't enough space -- and this is cyberspace, where room is unlimited -- to list all the things you could have asked about but did not, from health care to climate change to alternative energy to our policy toward China to the deterioration of Afghanistan to veterans' benefits to improving education. You ignored virtually everything that just happened in what most historians agree is one of the worst presidencies in American history, including the condoning of torture and the trashing of the Constitution, although to be fair you also ignored the policy concerns of people on the right, like immigration issues.

You asked about gun control -- phrased to try for a "gotcha" in a state where that's such a divisive issue -- but not about what we really care about, which is how to reduce crime. You pressed and pressed on those capital gains taxes, but Senators Clinton and Obama were forced to bring up the housing crisis on their own initiative.

Instead, you wasted more than half of the debate -- a full hour -- on tabloid trivia that for the most part wasn't even that interesting, because most of it was infertile ground that has already been covered again and again and again. I'm not saying that Rev. Wright and Bosnia sniper fire and "bitter" were never newsworthy -- I myself wrote about all of these for the Philadelphia Daily News or my Attytood blog, back when they were more relevant -- but the questions were stale yet clearly intended to gin up controversy (they didn't, by the way, other than the controversy over you.) The final questions of that section, asking Obama whether he thought Rev. Wright "loved America" and then suggesting that Obama himself is somehow a hater of the American flag, or worse, were flat-out repulsive."

Yup.

As the internet is wont to do, the "debate" was parodied by the folks over at the Obsidian Wings blog, put in context of the famous Lincoln/Douglas debate of 1858. Just a quick highlight, and you can click the link to get the rest:

"LINCOLN: Thank you very much, Charlie and George, and thanks to all in the audience and who are out there. I appear before you today for the purpose of discussing the leading political topics which now agitate the public mind.

We are now far into the fifth year since a policy was initiated with the avowed object, and confident promise, of putting an end to slavery agitation. Under the operation of that policy, that agitation has not only not ceased, but has constantly augmented.

STEPHANOPOULOS: I’m sorry to interrupt, but do you think Mr. Douglas loves America as much you do?

LINCOLN: Sure I do.

STEPHANOPOULOS: But who loves America more?

LINCOLN: I’d prefer to get on with my opening statement George.

STEPHANOPOULOS: If your love for America were eight apples, how many apples would Senator Douglas’s love be?

LINCOLN: Eight.

STEPHANOPOULOS: Proceed.

LINCOLN: In my opinion, slavery will not cease, until a crisis shall have been reached and passed. "A house divided against itself cannot stand." I believe this government cannot endure permanently half slave and half free.

STEPHANOPOULOS: Excuse me, did an Elijah H. Johnson attend your church?

LINCOLN: When I was a boy in Illinois forty years ago, yes. I think he was a deacon.

STEPHANOPOULOS: Are you aware that he regularly called Kentucky “a land of swine and whores”?

LINCOLN: Sounds right -- his ex-wife was from Kentucky.

STEPHANOPOULOS: Why did you remain in the church after hearing those statements?

LINCOLN: I was eight.

DOUGLAS: This is an important question George -- it's an issue that certainly will be raised in the fall."

And so on. Just read the rest.

Anyways, Hillary won Pennsylvania last night, despite the dream I had the night before about Obama winning and Hillary finally conceding. I don't want to get into that, so I won't.

Oh, but all the candidates made a guest appearance on WWE. Yes, that IS professional wrestling. This is what it's come to.

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

"Okay, America...just...alright?...America?" (It's not as funny without the proper inflection, but who cares.)

Someone found my blog by Googling the phrase "Why are people from Wisconsin so passive aggressive." I find that really, really hilarious. I'm digging through the Sitemeter stats, and have come to one conclusion - people from other countries really want to find Chuck Norris riddles. Yeah, I don't get it, either.

Finally, for your entertainment:

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

Kids are stupid. Over and out.

I'm back - with a vengeance.

2008-04-16T09:49:00.000-07:00

Just kidding about that last part. It's a beautiful day here in Madison, and I have to leave for work in two hours, but a couple of things have just come to my attention that I absolutely have to share with the world. (As with all of my posts, I'm still on the first cup of coffee, so give me some leeway, okay?)
Baseball season is here, and anyone with a casual eye to the game will know that this is the last year the Yankees will play in Yankee Stadium. It's a little sad (even though we all know the Yankees suck), simply because of the history there - Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, the last two games of the completely hilarious 2004 playoff collapse..
Lest I go on a tangent about how badly the Yankees suck, let's get right to the point. The new Yankee Stadium is being built, and one Red Sox fan working on the site thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to bury a David Ortiz jersey in the concrete of the new stadium. Unfortunately, the front office found about this in a hurry, and the Yankees spent five hours drilling the two-foot-thick concrete to get it out. Gossip on Sports says maybe they should have just left it in there.

Alright, enough screwing around. Here comes some news that's also funny, in a sick "wow we're screwed" sort of way.
As you've probably heard, the Pope made a visit to the White House this week. His speech focused on "the importance of democracy being informed by moral values" (from the Huffington Post). It concluded, and I kid you not, the president of the United States, the "leader of the free world" himself, said, "Thank you, Your Holiness. Awesome speech." This is not a joke - seriously, click on the link, there's a video and everything.

And, that's it from me.

Another lazy Sunday...

2008-04-06T15:39:00.001-07:00

As the headline suggests, it's been a fairly slow weekend. I've been going out at night, but my days have been stuffed with a whole lotta nothin' - wandering around Madison (and attempting not to get lost), reading, doing the crossword puzzle - nothing seriously of interest.

My old college roommate Umaar was in town last night, and we headed over to the Local Tavern for Spotted Cow and reminiscing (can you believe I spelled that right on the first shot? Neither can I.). It was, to use a phrase favored by a couple of my coworkers, "Sconnie to the max." And all of you who've spent a significant amount of time in this state should have a grasp of what I mean by that.

In case you weren't aware, today is National Tartan Day, the red-headed stepchild of St. Patrick's Day, commemorating the signing of the Treaty of Arbroath in 1320, which "asserted Scotland's sovereignity over English territorial claims," and gave those of us with a very weak Scottish heritage connection an excuse to drink our weights in whiskey (hey, I guess it's got more in common with St. Patrick's Day than I thought!). As I've got the house to myself until Tim gets back from Canada tomorrow, I've been celebrating on my own by wearing a kilt I fashioned out of old flannel sheets. I was considering limiting my vocabulary exclusively to lines from Sean Connery movies, but didn't have the motivation (or the knowledge). Despite how little I've been out today, it'd still be pretty difficult. Like my mom would call and ask how my job was going, and I could say "In retrospect, I would rather have been a poet. Or a farmer." But the day wouldn't be complete until I gott a chance to use "You the man now, dog!", and there's not much call for that line nowadays. So, alas, my dreams remain unfulfilled.
Woot. Only...ugh...sixteen more days until the Pennsylvania primary. I'm really trying to ignore this whole debacle, but like everyone else in the blogosphere who thinks their words actually have some meaning, I feel slightly obligated to weigh in if only to voice my frustration. As the calls for Hillary's quittin' time get louder and louder (which will continue despite the expected win in PA), I really believe that the Dems are looking at a weakened party headed into November. Not to deny Sen. Clinton her constitutional right to continue as long as she wishes (although her finances have dried up to the point where her campaign has stopped paying health insurance premiums - one reason why she's such a big proponent of universal health care?), but I wish she'd just get out, already. It's time.
So I don't have to ramble on and on about this, here's a few quick videos that illustrate some of her logic:

So, there's that, and that's it.

2008-03-31T12:59:00.000-07:00

I know, I know, stop yelling. I need a computer to update this waste-of-bandwidth. Hopefully that's something that can happen soon.

So I've been watching a lot of TV lately (thank you, NCAA tourney), and I've come to a new rule. I'm not buying anything from companies who think a good ad campaign involves talking babies or small children discussing things wayyy above their paygrades (so to speak). If the product is actually designed for small children (Legos, Barbie, Hello Kitty Island Adventure - reference bonus points time), then yes, feel free. But I don't want to watch a group of five year olds talking about stock options and planning for retirement, because it's just so easy. It's easier than Cute Animals With A Wide Angle Lens (bonus points part 2). I have one exception to the rule, and that's the eTrade ads with the talking baby - "I rented a clown and really underestimated the creepiness." That's good comedy.

Could someone who was alive in the 70's tell me if this was an actual game? I'm convinced this is an elaborate hoax or SNL sketch:

Anyways, I have no real news, so happy Opening Day!

"When masochism's lost its fun..."

2008-03-22T07:43:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm aware I've misquoted the line here, but, eh.

So, spring has sprung, and dumped ten inches of snow on Madison to boot. If I haven't said it already (and yes, I know I have), I'm quite ready for this winter to be over.

Barack Obama has released his NCAA bracket. Call me a cynic, but only a candidate scraping for votes in Pennsylvania picks Pitt to make the Final Four.
Speaking of which, my bracket is officially done for. That's what I get for picking too many underdogs (and the wrong ones, at that), but there's no money involved this year, so I'm not too worried about it. (By the way, I've got Memphis winning it all.)
Back to politics - I'll only say that we've still got a month until the Pennsylvania primary, and all of this down time really forces us to focus on things that don't matter - this is when people like Ferraro and Wright dominate the headlines. Again, it's ridiculous.
I just finished reading Everything Bad is Good For You. It's an interesting read - author Steven Johnson basically argues that today's pop culture is actually making us smarter (whaddya know, I just ripped off the subtitle) - for example, video games are becoming far more intricate (from the simple patterns of PacMan to the sprawling worlds of Zelda), and television is forcing the audience to fill in more of the plot and understand the relationships between characters without actually saying it (see The West Wing and 24). Johnson doesn't argue that books are becoming irrelevant, he just says that society nowadays is too quick to judge the new mass media as "trash" instead of understanding that these new formats are helping us build our brains just as much, which translates to better problem-solving skills in real life.
Okay, so that's it for me.

Who else seen the leprechaun, say "YEE-AH"

2008-03-18T12:38:00.000-07:00

I know I'm a little late to the party on this, but Happy St. Patrick's Day!
We'll celebrate with a couple of appropriately themed videos:

First, a classic:

And probably my favorite Guinness ad of all time:

So, have fun with that. I'm out.

Well, that's that...

2008-03-16T14:58:00.000-07:00

For now. Yes, I'm being purposely cryptic. All of it's irrelevant, anyways.
So hola amigos, I know it's been a long time since I rapped at 'cha (time for another round of "Name That Reference" on my blog?), but things have been "busy" (or so I like to tell myself), and I don't have a computer except to borrow Tim's whenever I get a chance to do so. Plus, I've got to be in a specific mood to blog, so, there's your explanation. Take it or leave it.
I'm watching the Selection Sunday show on CBS - which we just realized that we get (we don't have cable yet - add that to the list of things to do before baseball season). But I'm off Thursday afternoon, so the tournament will be on, and I've got to fill out my bracket, even though I haven't paid attention at all this year, so I'll be that guy that wins despite it all.
I've got the day off today, and I've spent it reading, wandering around Madison, and playing Halo 2. Yes, my life is quite exciting.
Speaking of reading, I just finished "The Raw Shark Texts" (really, really odd - I'm not sure if I quite followed it) and "Crimes Against Logic" (short, but really interesting). I'm not really in the mood to give full book reports, but I'd recommend reading the latter while recommending that you pay close, close attention if you choose to read the former.
I walked to the library this afternoon, totally forgetting about the St. Patrick's Day parade on Capitol Square. So that was fun. Just a note to all of you Wisconsin-based St. Patrick's Day revelers - wearing your Brett Favre jersey does not count as wearing "green." Thank you.
So I'm going to pay a little more attention to the brackets, I'll catch up with you kids later.

Just...wow.

2008-03-11T10:58:00.000-07:00

From the YouTube description:

"The Leningrad Cowboys is a Finnish rock and roll band famous for its humorous songs and concerts featuring the Soviet Red Army Choir.
Currently, the band has eleven Cowboys and two Leningrad Ladies. The songs, all somewhat influenced by polka and progressive rock, and performed in English, have themes such as 'vodka', 'tractors', 'rockets', and 'Genghis Khan', as well as folkloric Russian songs, rock and roll ballads and covers from bands as diverse as The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, and Lynyrd Skynyrd, all with lots of humour.
The Red Army Choir (Choir Aleksandrov) is a performing ensemble that served as the official army choir of the former Soviet Union's Red Army. The choir consists of a male choir, an orchestra, and a dance ensemble. The songs they perform range from Russian folk tunes to Church hymns, operatic arias and popular music.
In 1991, The Red Army Choir participated in Roger Waters' The Wall concert celebrating the fall of the Berlin Wall. They performed an anti-war song "Bring the Boys Back Home".
Since the collapse of the Soviet Union, the Red Army Choir has continued performing, entertaining audiences both inside and outside Russia."

"Real" post after work. And by "real," I mean more videos and links.

"Train roll on..."

2008-03-08T22:23:00.000-08:00

Just to forewarn you, I'm in quite the random mood - so get ready for another long and rambling post!
First things first. I finally saw the Obama music video:

Of course, I appreciate the sentiment...but the whole thing comes off as a little creepy, doesn't it? The whole O-BA-MA chant gets a little too Soviet/Glorious Leader for me. And whoever directed it really should understand that to let Jessica Alba anywhere near the first minute only serves to distract the straight-male-demographic from the message, as the rest of the viewing is spent thinking "When's Jessica Alba coming back?." But all me-being-a-pig aside, conservatives are finding it a little scary, too (link goes to Salon.com - you have to watch an ad to get access, but the article's worth it). One thing that worries me about a possible Obama presidency (as the article mentions) is that some of his supporters seem to have drunk a little too much of the Kool-Aid, and expect the guy to be a perfect leader, free of mistakes or flaws. Is it possible to be too charismatic, too presidential for one's own good? (Ask Warren Harding.)
Meanwhile, the idiotic joint ticket nonsense continues, and others wonder if all of this infighting just might end up destroying the Democratic Party. Obama took Wyoming tonight, there's Mississippi on Tuesday, and then Pennsylvania almost six weeks later (seriously, for how long do we need to drag this on?) - this one year out of every four in which we begin spring already longing for November. Should be interesting.

I just finished reading The Year of Living Biblically - One Man's Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible. A++, would read again. (Link goes to Amazon, they'll give you a better description.)

Firefox is seriously dragging its feet, so that's probably a sign that I should be done. Don't forget to get up an hour early tomorrow!

2008-03-07T23:53:00.000-08:00

My upstairs neighbors are weird. It's quarter to two in the morning (I can't sleep, so sue me). They just got home (presumably from the bars), and I hear the blender going - like it does about six times a day (no joke).
And now someone's lighting off bottle rockets in the street, so, it's bedtime.
Real post tomorrow (maybe).

Diversionary tactics.

2008-03-05T15:30:00.000-08:00

Because I'm procrastinating like whoa (see also: "I think he IS from the future!").

Seriously, the past few days have been incredibly dull - I feel badly even wasting your time by posting this. I've been off of work ('tis the season for people to eat at home, I guess) and therefore spending my time playing xBox, doing the crossword puzzle, and lying on my bedroom floor staring at the ceiling. Tim got me watching "The West Wing," so I've also been doing that.

So, as the current state of my life has become not much more than waiting for my turn to play "Return to Castle Wolfenstein," I'll throw some links your way. (I know you might be saying, "Nate, you used to write about actual things. Hasn't your blog become just another one of those wastes-of-bandwidth in which the 'author' regurgitates the same garbage that every other blog does and blames it on the fact that he's 'feeling uncreative today,' as if there are any days when he actually is creative, and for some reason, feels the need to lie to all three of his regular readers (even though they all know it's just a facade) because he wants them to think that he can actually come up with an original thought once in a while?" The answer is, I never wrote about actual things, and shut up. On we go.)

I don't know why I'm on the impeachbush.org mailing list. I don't mean to knock down the little idealism that could possibly be left in this world, but Bush and Cheney will never be impeached. Not that I don't believe they deserve to be, but our year-old Democratic-majority Congress seems to be missing a backbone. They're taking the Gerald Ford it-won't-be-good-for-the-country approach and saying "Good job on electing a Democratic majority! Oh...you believed us when we said we'd change things? Um...about that...LOOK OVER THERE!" And we, the gullible voters of America, look in the direction of Nancy Pelosi's bony outstretched index finger, while she and the rest of the Dems run the other way.
Anyways, I was saying. Something about impeachment. Oh yeah! Bush and Cheney haven't been impeached, but the town of Brattleboro, Vermont has passed a resolution calling for their arrest should they ever step foot inside the city limits. (If there's any way for a town of 8,300 people to make world headlines/money, this could be it, but my cynicism digresses...). From
the email:

"...Shall the Selectboard instruct the Town Attorney to draft indictments against President Bush and Vice President Cheney for crimes against our Constitution, and publish said indictments for consideration by other authorities and shall it be the law of the Town of Brattleboro that the Brattleboro Police, pursuant to the above-mentioned indictments, arrest and detain George Bush and Richard Cheney in Brattleboro if they are not duly impeached, and prosecute or extradite them to other authorities that may reasonably contend to prosecute them?" The people of Brattleboro answered, "yes!"

The indictment means that Bush and Cheney can be arrested for criminal acts should they ever enter Brattleboro. The indictment would go into effect after Bush and Cheney leave office.

The Brattleboro resolution is becoming a powerful organizing model for cities and towns around the country. The impeachment movement has sunk deep roots throughout this country. The people of the United States are demanding not only that the Constitution be restored, but that the President, Vice President and other officials be held accountable for committing high crimes and misdemeanors.

The Brattleboro resolution shows that even where Congressional representatives are refusing to follow the majority sentiment demanding impeachment, that the people themselves can take action."

I don't know, I suppose it's a start - I've never been a big fan of symbolic actions, though.

Speaking of politics, most of you who aren't brain dead know that Hillary Clinton was the big winner in the primaries last night. Obama did take the aforementioned Vermont and is projected to clean up huge in the Texas caucus, so that's nice. So last night was my couch-and-politics party, which is exactly what it sounds like - me sitting on the couch, watching the West Wing, and checking the scores every five minutes.

You can thank those crazy Belgians (via Ms. Kimberly Pike) for this one: Dinner in the Sky, which you might fancy if you've got an extra ten thousand or so euros just burning a hole in your pocket. Oh yeah, it helps to be okay with heights, as your table is suspended 50 meters in the air:

More pictures on the website, and that's all my rambling for now.

My brain is turning to mush.

2008-03-02T10:31:00.004-08:00

Hey kids, I just wanted to take a minute and share with you a couple of things that've been cracking me up lately, because it's Sunday and there's really nothing in my life worth writing about.

Stuff White People Like is a fantasically hilarious blog that's just what it sounds like - a daily discussion on things white people like, from public radio ("After Craig listens to people like Amy Goodman and David Sedaris, he feels like he is an expert on the issues that they talk about like polygamy in third world or how awesome it is to watch an old lady pick apples.") to breakfast places ("To a white person, there is no better way to spend a saturday morning than to get up late, around 9:30 and pile into your Audi or Volvo and drive to one of these little places and eat breakfast with friends. Often times these breakfasts last for an hour or more (hence the long lines and wait times).") So, go ahead and check that out.

And an interesting article, from the Billings Gazette via Fark, recapping a speech by Dr. Terry Housinger, wondering which famous assassination victims could've been saved if we'd known the things we do now about modern medicine.

Guess I'd better go do something productive.

2008-03-01T06:58:00.001-08:00

Just checked out the Sitemeter - visits to this blog yesterday quadrupled from the normal number of visits in a day - I had about 40 just from frustrated NYT crossword-ers. And hey, I'm not one to judge - I'm pretty good with words, synonyms, definitions, and things like that, but once we hit arcane classical literature - hellllooo, Google!

Worst parents in the world? These people make their kid think he's getting an xBox 360 for Christmas...and then LAUGH at him when he cries about it.

And Lewis Black, on everyone's favorite Republican:

I'm out.

Friday ramblings...

2008-02-29T05:57:00.000-08:00

Sorry my posting's been so infrequent - I don't have a computer anymore, so I have to borrow Tim's if I want to blog. In the end, though, the less I have to subject you to my ramblings is probably better for all of us.

My sleep schedule's still pretty erratic after returning from the other side of the pond. I find myself in bed at 11:30, at latest, and up by 6:30. It's not all bad, I feel like I've got more time before I go to work, but still, I feel kindof...well...old.

I'm doing the New York Times crossword - you've gotta love the clue "pullers of the chariot of Artemis" in the same puzzle as "1990 #1 rap hit that starts 'Yo, V.I.P., let's kick it.'" (For everyone who came across my blog through Google, the answers are "DEER" and "ICEICEBABY." Now leave me alone.)

I'm going to take a little time here, just to say how much I love the internet. (In Jimmy voice) "Have you seen this, have you heard about this?" (A++ for getting that reference, by the way) All of us (well, most of us, anyways) are familiar with the LOLcat macros, popularized by sites like I Can Has Cheezburger, which is basically "YOU HAVE TO SEE THESE ADORABLE PICTURES OF MY KITTIES" taken to a whole new level - people upload their pictures and put captions on them, generally terribly mispelled. For example:

RDR^2.

Anyways...if that wasn't going far enough, LOLbama.com uses the same idea, except replaces the cats with pictures of everyone's favorite presidential candidate. I'll warn you before you click that while most of them are pretty tame, a few might not be safe for work.

Oh! There's also Hillary Is Mom Jeans, a fun little time waster where people blame anything and everything on Hillary Clinton, including such gems as "Hillary tells your supervisor when you come in late," "Hillary canceled Arrested Development," and "Hillary tries to start the wave at baseball games."
Its sister site, Barack Obama is Your New Bicycle, is basically the opposite (although not as funny) - "Obama escorted your grandma across the street," "...helped you move a sofa," and "...picked you up at the airport."

So this is what politics has come to...LOVE IT.

Does anyone have any book recommendations? Books I've just finished include The Corrections, Life of Pi, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime, One Big Damn Puzzler...so, I like interesting, quirky fiction.

Anyways, I'm out.